#and maybe Vices thrown in there
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volivolition · 4 months ago
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prepping for my Bonus Days. i love tutorial agent lmao
#chemi chats#yknow. last year's ''take sundays off'' made a lot of sense.#october 2023 was PERFECT for skilltober as it was a full four weeks (so six days for each skill type per week plus a day off)#and left two days at the end - the 30th and 31 - for Ancient Reptilian and Limbic. so it worked out really evenly!!#using the same method in 2024 does not yield the same clean results hjkjg it looks. so fucking messy gang hgkjg#but generally you can take any 5 days off? it would make sense to split it at the first any five days in a row.#like how we had five sundays last year. so like if we had five mondays this month we'd do free days on mondays right?#but this months was tuesdays and we all STARTED on tuesday SO LIKE HGKJG OKAY MAN. NOW WHAT HGKJ#i want to be posting the same skills as everyone else everyday but that's a bit much to ask yknow? syncing up is fun but its HARD man hgkjg#the reason why im talking about this is because im NOT taking the free days hgkjg or maybe i'll take one who knows lmao hgkj#but my ''free'' days are: Tutorial Agent with the INTs. Solace with the PSYs. Volta Do Mar with the FYSs. Kinetic Dressage with the MOTs.#and maybe Vices thrown in there? i might make Vices physique and put Volta with the psyches? and make Solace a little bonus end?#because i love her and shes special hgkj but i guess i'll see hkjf but EITHER WAY im gonna be posting on whenever free days are hgkj#so if everyone takes sundays+halloween off (except me because im Fucking Entrenched In This Shit) then thats when i'll post#(even though it'd be messy as hell like. splitting up the skill types hkjg??) maybe it'd make sense to do mondays+halloween so we can#finish a skill type section before taking a break/doing my bonus skills? and it'd even out but that requires coordination hgkjsk#sigh. or for me to accept that we'll all eventually fall out of sync and thats fine hgkj (<- I can be fine with this. It's just messy hkjg)#oh idk :P im gonna take my ''break''/bonus days on mondays+halloween and whatever happens happens <33#(<- assuming im gonna be able to finish a monthly challenge lmaooo) okay ive got a headache lmao goodnight i love you all as always <33
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idsb · 9 days ago
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#i wish I had someone to talk to#like. I had so many people I confided in and would yap to and just like get really beautiful advice from#in Australia#I’ve never been so connected with People as I was there#I’ve never had so broad a support system#and like multiple STRONG groups of people who would do a lot for me#and could talk me off a ledge and who showed up for me (and vice versa)#like I don’t think I could’ve gotten through a thing that happened there#without like the 3-4 layers of nets I had#and here I just#it’s not that there aren’t people who care about me here#it’s just different#and I don’t know what the difference is#like I wanna talk about this dumb property management situation!!!! with someone who’s not my boyfriend!!!#and I just don’t wanna bother anyone or assume they don’t get it or I’m like we don’t talk enough to come to them with this#and I never had that thought once while there#maybe it’s due to like. being thrown to the thick of it#and knowing everyone knew I had no one else and was starting over#so internally I felt like people were more welcoming to problems I had and it wasn’t weird????#I feel weird even reaching out to any of those people now even though they’ve pretty much all reached out to me#it feels harder making friends not for anything any person here has ever done wrong. just the weird mental roadblocks I’ve got#maybe I subconsciously felt more emboldened to go out on a limb without the safety net of my boyfriend?#like I’ve developed a codependency on him I’m unaware of??#maybe I was happier there so I didn’t have as many mental roadblocks???#I don’t know. I just don’t know#and like I hope I figure it out someday??? cause I was so happy there#and I hate living like this#I hate the lonliness I feel inside no matter how many people tell me they care about me#but I don’t have any earthly idea how to fix it
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hannieehaee · 2 months ago
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NEED TO KNOW
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18+ / mdi
summary: with jungkook's lifelong crush also came an aversion to dating anyone who wasn't you. but what would happen when the poor lovesick boy came crying into your arms after finally giving a chance to what turned to be a disastrous date?
content: virgin!jungkook, f2l!jungkook, loser!jk, sub!jk, college au, jk is insanely socially awkward and shy, kook is touch starved, afab reader, smut, dry humping, body worship, reader's lowkey possessive over jk (and vice versa tbh), oral (f and m receiving), handjob, penetrative sex, etc.
wc: 10k
a/n: loser virgin koo but light on the loser and heavy on the virgin
masterlist | patreon
Jungkook often found himself feeling like his life was one of those very shitty romcoms.
Except he had never really felt like the heartthrob, or even like he was the one getting swept off his feet.
No, his experience was more closely aligned with the loser virgin who was tossed aside so the star-crossed lovers could find their way to each other. This was just how it had always been.
Jungkook had watched most of his friends find love with a person he could easily consider their soulmate. He was a romantic at heart, after all. These things were not difficult for him to spot.
He often wondered when his turn would come, except it just never did.
Being one for romance was seemingly not for the weak, as Jungkook found himself passing yet another year as a lovesick fool hoping to find that perfect someone to finally look his way.
Scratch that. Many people looked his way. Even as a self-proclaimed loser, Jungkook received plenty of attention from boys and girls alike. Looks were often thrown his way, but they were never the looks he wanted to receive.
Sure, he could easily reciprocate the appreciation he received for his looks. He could smile back, maybe even ask for their number and then see where it all led afterwards.
Except that Jungkook needed the romance. He needed to be swept off his feet (or maybe the reverse, it depended on his mood). Jungkook needed a soulmate.
It all just became eternally more complicated when Jungkook insisted on having that person be you.
That and the fact that Jungkook was slightly, how to put it, socially inept. He was shy, anxious, unable to read social cues, and basically just an overall mess. But the worst of all was his undying crush on you, this he knew.
It was a tale as old as time. Falling for your best friend, pining after them for years, hoping one day they'd turn around and realize you'd been here all along. And now on year nine of knowing you, it still hadn't happened. Jungkook remained a sad, lonely virgin awaiting for you to grant his romcom wish and make him into the love interest.
It didn't really help how painfully socially awkward Jungkook was. Truly, he was surprised you'd stuck by his side for this long despite that. There was no way Jungkook would ever want to risk ruining your current relationship in favor of something he knew would never work out. You did not like him back, these past nine years made him very well aware of that.
And so, as a result, his friends had the grand idea of setting him up.
Not once, not twice, but countless times.
However, Jungkook being Jungkook, never agreed to it. Not once had his friends been able to reel him out of his dorm long enough to entrap him into a date.
Jungkook simply saw no point in it. Blind dates were the complete antithesis of Jungkook's beliefs about romance. He needed a connection before even considering entering a romantic relationship. The thought of going on a date with someone he'd never met before unnerved him to no end.
Plus, he was convinced no one would ever actually like him past his looks. There had been far too many instances of him being on the receiving end of insults to his personality or not-so-subtle stink eyes thrown his way. To have that happen to him whilst on a blind date was just a huge no.
Jungkook found himself stuck in an endless limbo. A loveless, endless limbo as he pined after the one person he could never have.
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"You're going. No isn't an option here," deadpanned Namjoon, hitting Jungkook lightly to the back of his head with a rolled up magazine — almost as if he were a puppy receiving a scolding.
Well, that's pretty much how Jungkook had been feeling these days.
For the past week or so, Jungkook had been down in the dumps (even more than usual), making his unrequited crush everyone else's problem through his constant sighs and unsolvable complaints. You truly were the only person in Jungkook's life who didn't fall victim to his lovesickness — for obvious reasons.
There was a very reasonable cause for Jungkook's souring mood, though.
You were seeing someone.
Maybe.
At least that's the impression Jimin had given Jungkook when he mentioned some guy you'd been texting lately.
Jungkook had no further evidence, but the mere thought was enough for his heart to begin cracking.
He always knew this was a one sided love, but the confirmation was entirely too hurtful for Jungkook to take. Apart from that, the thought of you not telling him also added to the hurt.
This only caused Jungkook's lovesickness to worsen, making him become a leech at his other friends' sides as he allowed himself to rot. Maybe it sounded dramatic, but Jungkook felt the situation was drastic enough to justify his reaction.
It was unfortunate that Jungkook's friends cared so much for him. Had they simply allowed him to rot in his own self-inflicted misery, he wouldn't have found himself at the receiving end of Kim Namjoon's wrath as he scolded at him to go on the date he'd set up for him with his lab partner.
To be fair, his friends had offered him many options. They'd tried to get Jungkook out of his shell and wingman him in order to find a girl for himself. They'd attempted to get him to confess to you. Hell, they even putting Jungkook on dating apps where he had full control of who, when, and how he met a partner. But Jungkook rejected every option.
This was not good enough for Kim Namjoon.
After having dealt with a heartsick Jungkook for far too long, he gave him an ultimatum. Either he confessed to you, or he'd have to at least attempt a date with a nice girl of Joon's choosing.
So, it seemed like Jungkook was going on a date.
"Sora's going to hate me. I make a terrible date. Last time I went on a date, I panicked when my date tried to kiss me and closed the door on her face. I'm pretty sure I slammed it her nose," Jungkook whined as he rubbed at the back of his head.
"Jungkook, believe it or not, girls do like you. Sora asked me to set you guys up. C'mon, just try it out. This could be that romcom romance you're always talking about."
"Doubt it," he murmured sadly, "But fine. I guess I have nothing to lose."
Namjoon clapped his hands gladly, proceeding to pat Jungkook's back in encouragement, "Good! It'll go great, Jungkook, don't worry."
"I- I don't even know what to wear or what to say, I-" Jungkook found himself begin to panic, "What if-"
"Jungkook," Joon interrupted, "You're overthinking this. Sora's a nice girl. She's been asking me about you since you stopped by my bio class that one time. She's probably excited about this, there's nothing for you to worry about," he reassured.
Still, Jungkook remained overly anxious about it. Also, how was he supposed to explain this to you? He didn't want you to think that he, that he was interested in pursuing other girls. It was a dumb thought to have, but he couldn't help it. What if the feelings were somehow, by some act of god, reciprocated and Jungkook was ruining it by going on a date with someone else? It wasn't like he could possibly hide this from you. You were best friends, for god's sakes!
But one more look to Joon's annoyed expression told Jungkook that he could under no circumstance call this off.
And so he was going on a date.
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When the day of the date arrived, Jungkook was even more nervous than he had imagined.
He had no one to ask for advice, no one to confide in so that his nerves didn't go overboard and drove him to insanity.
Okay, he could've easily asked one of his closest friends like maybe Jimin? Or perhaps Taehyung? Maybe even Mingyu. They were all very successful with dating, whether that be casually or long-term. Jungkook was really the only outlier in his friend group to fail miserably at the dating aspect of life.
And every other social aspect, really.
Unfortunately, there was only one person that could provide Jungkook with the comfort and reassurance he needed right now. And that was you.
You, however, were the one person Jungkook could simply never tell about this.
Regardless of the endless times he'd convinced himself that you did not care for him in any way other than platonic, the fear of somehow disappointing you by going on a date with someone else completely prevented him from even considering telling you. It was stupid and delusional, but, well, so was Jungkook.
The very (extremely) small thought that maybe you liked him back continued to bug him even as he got dressed for his date. He'd subconsciously dressed in an outfit he knew you liked on him and had even done his hair the way that usually had you running your fingers through it. In his head, there was a battle between pleasing you despite your absence from this date, and feeling immense guilt over it.
Somehow, Jungkook managed to push those thoughts aside, choosing to try and calm himself down as he waited for the time to arrive.
He attempted to implant happy thoughts into his mind. The possibility of this date going well was one among them. What if Sora was a perfect match for him? What if this was what he should've done years ago instead of closing himself off to relationships due to his hopeless crush? Who knows, maybe he'd fall in love and become a former virgin within a few months.
But then life decided to catch him off guard again with a sudden knock on his door.
He knew in his heart who it could be, but he senselessly hoped it was anyone but you, knowing he'd panic with your sudden presence.
Walking over to check the peephole, he was met with a sight he usually enjoyed seeing — you, smiling in the direction of the peephole, knowing he was watching on the other side of the door.
Hesitating a bit, he opened the door, attempting to decrease the acceleration of his heart. Was there any way he could lie to you about his plans and get you out of here within less than ten minutes? According to his phone, it was 6:32, which meant he needed to get his ass out of his apartment in the next fifteen minutes if he wanted to make it on time for the reservation Sora had made for 7.
This might've been the downside to telling you you could come over unannounced at any time. Usually, Jungkook was either at home or with you, so this arrangement had not caused any issues until now.
Upon opening the door, he was immediately caught in a simple, yet sweet hug — you were a huge hugger, a blessing and a curse to poor, touch-starved Jungkook.
You entered the apartment as soon as you pulled away, making your way inside as if you owned the place (which, you kinda did, considering how often you were here). It took you a few seconds to register Jungkook's dressed-up appearance and inevitably comment on it, interrupting your usual greeting to him.
"Oh? You're all dressed up. I love that shirt on you," you fixed at his collar as you said so, "Do you have plans today? You look really handsome."
Well, Jungkook's unofficial goal of impressing you had been accomplished. Too bad you weren't the girl he was going on a date with tonight.
After your question, you'd moved further into Kook's apartment, making your way to his couch with ease only a true best friend would have. You even grabbed at the chips Kook had left on the coffee table earlier, disregarding your surroundings due to the level of comfort you felt at his place.
"Oh, uh, I ... Joon actually set me up on a date tonight," he decided to go with the truth. Jungkook knew that he'd feel better with your encouragement at the end of the day. Maybe that was what he needed in order to calm his nerves. That, and some sort of official confirmation that he had no chance with you. Perhaps that'd be enough to get him to snap out of his delusions.
He felt bad about it as soon as your face dropped. Or maybe he imagined it. It went back to normal immediately after.
"Oh," you paused, "That's- wow. Congrats, Kook. Who's the lucky girl?", you asked as if it meant nothing. As if him going on a date wasn't a life changing event.
Which maybe it wasn't for you. Kook knew you didn't like him like that, but the stupid hope prevailed for some reason. He was driving himself insane with the idiocy behind the thought, but his hopeful nature couldn't help itself.
"Uh, you know, just some girl from Joon's class. Her name's Sora. We're, uh, going to some fancy restaurant tonight."
"Oh, fuck, did I interrupt you? Sorry, Kook. You should've told me," another flash of something made its way to your expression, but it left as fast as it came as you stood from your seat and walked back to him.
"You, uh, you look amazing, Kook. She's going to fall in love with you for sure," you smiled sweetly at him, fixing his collar again in a manner that had him screaming internally.
He didn't want anyone but you falling in love with him, but it's not like he could actually express that to you without putting your friendship at risk. So, he gave you a tight lipped smile and accepted your compliment with a scrunch of his nose.
"Is it time for you to leave? I'll leave you alone. Wouldn't want to interrupt you in case the date goes well," you went to joke, chuckling lightheartedly as you usually did, but Jungkook swore there was something off in your tone. Call it wishful thinking.
"You don't have to leave," he mumbled.
"It's okay, Kookie. Good luck with your date," you went to pick up your bag that you'd put down when you came in before approaching him by the door once more, "Here. For good luck," and a soft kiss was pressed against his cheek.
He stood there dumbly after that. Maybe he mumbled a thank you or a see you later, he wasn't too sure. He was far too distracted by your proximity and touch and then suddenly he was alone again.
Kisses on the cheek weren't exactly a tendency for you. They practically never happened. At least not with Jungkook's aversion to intimate touch. Hugs were usually as far as you two went due to his shy demeanor in that area. Perhaps you were somehow asserting your place in his life? But it was most likely not from a place of possessiveness as Jungkook's dumb mind wished for it to be. You were just genuinely the sweetest girl he'd ever met, and so you kissed him with the best of intentions. Jungkook would just have to keep it in the back of his mind for his date.
... Which was starting quite soon, he realized as he finally rushed to leave.
With one last resigned sigh, he looked at himself in the mirror and finally made his way out, hoping tonight would be the first step to getting over his rom-com wish of being with you.
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Jungkook's nerves did not diminish on the drive to the restaurant, much less as he walked in and was led to his reservation. It was a bit of a shock to him to find Sora already sitting there, but perhaps it was a sign that she actually liked him. Sometimes it was difficult for Jungkook to believe anyone could possibly be into him romantically. He knew people found him attractive and had been prepositioned many times in his life, but no one had ever actually shown interest any further than that. Maybe it was how socially awkward he was, or perhaps how insistent he was on chasing after you in particular.
He shook these thoughts out of his mind for the time being, opting to arrive over to his date as quick as possible.
"Hi," he said dumbly as he took a seat across from her.
"Hi, Jungkook," she smiled back.
She did not seem as nervous as Jungkook did. She seemed quite calm actually, which only made Jungkook more anxious. That and the way she'd checked him out as he sat, but he'd put that thought into the back burner for now.
"Uh, sorry if I kept you waiting," he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, not knowing what to do with his hands.
"Don't worry about it. I'd have waited longer if necessary," then she leaned over the table, as close as she could through the distance and whispered, "I've been waiting for a chance with you for a while."
Okay, that was forward. Was that good?
"Oh, uh, well, I, uh, I hope I don't disappoint you, then," he felt himself blush.
She gave him a smile that made him feel as if she was in on some joke he was unaware of, "You won't. Trust me," and that was that.
The waiter came soon after and wrote down their orders, offering them some breadsticks and beverages as they waited. It was pretty calm during that time. Maybe even too calm.
The conversation didn't exactly flow naturally between the two. It was a little static here and there, forcing Jungkook to think of ice breakers for first dates that he'd seen on some Buzzfeed article he'd read back in high school, back when he was first introduced to the idea of dating.
Sora was nice and extremely pretty, but Jungkook did not feel that spark he'd always hoped for. He should've known the moment he walked in. There were no bells playing nor did he feel dizzy at the sight of her. Jungkook knew these were unrealistic measures to find the love of his life, but they had been present when he met you and still remained prevalent in his current feelings for you. With Sora, however? It was as if he was awkwardly making conversation to his science partner after having finished a project — it was just filling the silence.
But Sora looked happy. She continued to smile at him, giggle harder than Jungkook would expect (his humor wasn't really at its peak performance tonight), and would even reach over to grace at his arm every so often. When the food came, she made eyes at him as she ate. It was a pretty sight, but her intentions confused Jungkook. Was she flirting with him?
He felt out of his league in this situation. Like there was some context he didn't have.
And then the other shoe dropped.
Sora began playing footsie with him under the table, interrupting him as he responded to some benign question she'd asked about his major. She hummed in response, tilting her head to the side and biting her lip flirtatiously at him. It unnerved Jungkook, causing him to stutter endlessly at the contact. God, he was so unaccustomed to touch; any kind of touch, really. Sure, you and him hugged from time to time, but he avoided any further touch, knowing he'd make an embarrassment out of himself if you ever did anything similar to what Sora was doing.
You'd never questioned his proclivity against intimate touch. You just respected it, keeping touch to a minimum and letting him take the reins any time you hugged or lounged on the same couch — there was the very rare cuddling, but it never went further than shoulders pressed up against each other.
It's not as if Jungkook was a germophobe or anything of that genre. He was quite fine with pats on the back, handshakes, hell, even tackling when playing sports, but it was the more intimate touches he stayed away from. He just felt entirely out of place, knowing he'd embarrass himself somehow. Thankfully, he'd never been in such a situation until now.
Jungkook didn't want to judge Sora too harshly by how forward she was being. It was nice to be wanted, especially by someone as appealing as Sora. It wasn't her fault that he was a little socially inept when it came to relationships. No, that was entirely on him.
He'd seen countless romance movies and had even watched as all his friends interacted with their significant others. Jungkook knew what was expected in a relationship, yet he just wasn't feeling it with Sora. Any time you touched him, he found himself wanting more but holding back due to how much more he wanted. In this instance, he just felt nervous as to what type of touch would come next from the girl sitting across from him.
Then came the question.
"Wanna get out of here?", she smiled after dessert, the same flirtatious grin on her glossy lips.
Jungkook physically gulped at the implication, but somehow found himself responding.
"O-okay."
Was that enthusiastic enough?
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Jungkook had been a gentleman. He'd walked Sora home, held her hand, and pulled her close to him as they swung their hands back and forth. It was nice. Sora was a really nice girl when she wasn't fucking Jungkook with her eyes — was that what she'd been doing? He wasn't exactly sure.
But his question was answered pretty quickly.
Kook had insisted on walking her all the way up to her apartment. She lived off campus and it was after dark, it just seemed like the proper thing to do. Even if the date hadn't been exactly what he'd hoped (through no real fault of Sora's), he wanted to remain polite to her.
Turning to him as they stepped foot in front of her door, Sora's hand went to rub at his arm, thumb feeling at the skin of his bicep in a sensual(?) way. Her eyes deemed slightly hooded and her grin was still present.
She took two steps forward, taking his lack of movement as indication he was okay with her coming closer. Which he was, but he was still anxious about it. Would she kiss him? Should he kiss her?
Her arms wrapped at the back of his neck, the hold causing him to lean down slightly. His balance left him at the sudden proximity, making him naturally wrap his arms around her waist. He kept the touch as feather-light as possible, not wanting to cross any boundary.
That's when she kissed him.
And it wasn't just any kiss. It wasn't like the two or three kisses Jungkook had shared with other girls in the past — no mere peck or short-lived kiss. Sora was very forward with her kiss, making Jungkook yelp in surprise as he tried to follow.
He kept at it only for a few moments before attempting to pull away with shy mutters and excuses, 'wait,' 'shit, i-' and 'maybe we shouldn't' were a few of them, with the last one finally making her fully pull away.
"I-I'm sorry, I'm just not sure I want to ...", he grimaced at himself, feeling like an idiot.
Sora was a pretty girl, clearly into him and seemingly willing to put up with his weird personality. Jungkook was simply being an idiot, thinking that he could go on a date and suddenly be over his years-long crush and-
"What? What do you mean?" she interrupted his thoughts, looking rather peeved off.
"I, uh, I mean that, uh, maybe we should wait? I don't wanna rush things and-"
Just as he pulled out the first excuse he could think of, — What, Jungkook? Were you really thinking of going out with her again or would you just ghost her? — she interrupted him again.
She looked at him with clear annoyance overtaking her features, arms on her hips as she moved her weight from one foot to another. Anyone who saw her could clearly see some sort of frustration in her demeanor.
"Jungkook, what did you think this was?", her tone was incredulous, "What was the point of all this?"
"W-what do you mean?"
She scoffed.
Okay, she didn't look as happy to be there anymore.
"We to some shitty restaurant late at night, I invite you back to my place, we kiss. What did you think I was expecting from all this?" she continued.
Jungkook was pretty sure he knew the answer, but he was too mortified to actually respond.
It was sex, right? Sora had seen this as a hookup rather than a date.
God damn you, Namjoon.
"I- it's not-"
"I thought you were interested. Hell, Joon said you kept asking him about me. That you were into me," she groaned, "I should've known. Everyone knows you're a prude. I've seen you shut down other girls, I just thought maybe I'd be an exception," she continued, confusing Jungkook further.
Fuck, had Joon tried setting him up with Sora? Jungkook knew his heart must've been in the right place, but he had probably misread Sora. They were clearly not compatible.
Jungkook kind of felt like he was going to cry. He felt so embarrassed by the situation. And there was no way he could clarify the white lie Joon had told her. It'd just exasperate her more.
"Do you have nothing to say? Should I just go into my apartment now?"
Jungkook looked at his shoes in remorse, feeling as if he'd actually done something wrong.
Kissing her had been a mistake. He should've stayed as he was, waiting for the perfect girl to come around. Should've trusted his gut despite Joon's insistence.
"I'm sorry. I, I didn't mean to lead you on."
She scoffed again, "Yeah, clearly. You should just go. And tell Joon to never set me up again," and with that, she'd entered her apartment, slamming the door on Jungkook in the process.
Jungkook stood there for a minute or two as he contemplated what had just happened.
Part of him was glad it had stopped where it did, while another part felt like an idiot for not going through with it. Granted, he had not expected such a big reaction to his rejection, but he could've used this opportunity to lose his virginity, maybe force himself to move on from you.
But Jungkook knew that would've been an even more disastrous experience. He didn't want to sleep with anyone just to get it over with. He wanted love. He wanted you.
With his tail between his legs, Jungkook went back home, disappointed at his first attempt at putting himself out there. He also made a mental note to spit in Joon's soup or something.
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The way back home had been a mess of emotions.
Jungkook went from embarrassed, to angry, to confused, and ended up settling on mortified. That, and pathetic. That feeling seemed to always be present in Jungkook's mind, but tonight he felt a little more pathetic than usual.
I mean, he had had, by all means, what could be considered a perfect date. He had a girl who clearly wanted to take things further, yet he panicked like an idiot and caused her to blow up at him. At that moment Jungkook couldn't really find it in him to blame Sora for her reaction. He should've realized from Sora's advancements that she'd want more from him and shouldn't've fed into it throughout the night.
He wondered what you'd think of it all.
Would you have found Sora's reaction reasonable? Would you have comforted him after such a mortifying night.
Well, it turned out Jungkook would find out sooner than expected.
Despite your denial to his offer of staying over at his place while he was gone, he still found you sitting on his couch as soon as he entered the threshold of his apartment - you did have a key, after all.
You got up as soon as you saw him come in, clearly having been expecting him. Your demeanor did not seem as casual and laid back as it had a few hours ago. On the contrary, you looked troubled.
But Jungkook was sure he looked equally as troubled, if not more. He felt shock at seeing you there despite having left earlier, but it soon left him due to bigger matters taking over his mind at the moment.
"Kook," you started, putting your weight on your knees as you knelt on the couch.
"Uhm, hi. What- what are you doing here?"
He was hesitant in making his way to his own couch. Your presence was unnerving him for some reason (well, at least a different reason than usual). He could feel something different in the air. Your demeanor wasn't your usual.
You wrapped your arms around yourself, looking down to your lap.
"I don't- I'm not really sure."
That was unlike you.
"I thought you didn't want to stay in case I, uh, I brought Sora back home."
He didn't mean it in an accusatory manner, but perhaps his disheartened demeanor made it sound as such.
"Sorry, I can leave. I- I'll leave," you went to get up, but were swiftly stopped by Jungkook when he walked over to you, closing the distance.
"Don't- Please don't go. I could use the company," he offered you a loop-sided smile, hoping it didn't give away how shitty he was feeling.
You looked up at him now with the closer proximity between you. Jungkook knew you could probably see the glassiness in his eyes due to tonight's events. He hadn't cried on his way home, per say, but he had been pretty damn close to. And you, being you, would probably be able to clock it immediately.
"Are you okay?", you finally asked.
"It was just ... a very shitty day," he chuckled despite himself.
The two of you took a seat on the couch, the tension somehow still loud.
"What happened?"
"Oh, you know. I was kind of dumb to think a girl could possibly like me like that. Joon meant well, but ... it's just not for me, I guess."
He wanted to diminish it. To keep it vague so he wouldn't have to open that can of worms. The can of worms that were his deep-seethed insecurities and his never ending crush.
Turning your body to face him, your eyebrows furrowed in worry, bottom lip sticking out a bit in a subtle pout.
"Jungkook," your voice was serious, "Tell me what happened."
"You first," he rebutted, "Tell me why you're here."
He surprised himself a bit. Usually he had no problem letting you comfort him when he was down in the dumps. But something about your demeanor needed to be addressed first. That small seed of hope in the back of his mind was twinkling at it. Could it be? Had you stayed because-
"I didn't want you to bring her back home," you said after a few moments of silence, voice almost a whisper.
Your eyes were forcefully shut and a breath left you. It was as if it had been a huge weight on your shoulders. Though you didn't seem more relaxed at letting it out. If anything, you appeared even more pent up.
And Jungkook? His body was reacting to such a statement. The implications behind it had his heart racing and his hands clamming up. It'd be a punishment beyond belief if it didn't mean what he thought he meant.
But still, he asked.
"Why?"
"Please don't make me say it."
"I need you to. Please."
Sora was completely out of his mind despite the conversation orbiting around her. All he was thinking about was the pained tone in your voice when you'd said you didn't want her back here with Jungkook.
He felt sickly at the strange satisfaction that brought. Your pain was the last thing Jungkook could ever want, but this was the kind of pain Jungkook could remedy. Only one word from you — or rather, three — and he'd take it all away. He just needed a bit more from you to not risk it all. He needed you to take the risk, however selfish that might've been.
You opened and closed your mouth a few times, but never garnered the courage to actually say something. It was rare for you to not speak your mind around Jungkook, and that knowledge only made his heart race more. Wanting to encourage you, he scoot over a bit closer, placing his hand atop your own that was lying on your lap.
A soft smile was his reward for such an action. That and the brushing of your fingers before fully grasping his hand in yours. He loved holding your hand, even if he rarely allowed himself to do so.
"Why didn't you want me to bring her back home?", he asked again.
You sighed, nodding to yourself in what seemed to be self assurance before turning your eyes to his and finally speaking.
"Because I like you. And it would've killed me if you lost your virginity to someone else," you said in one quick breath. Your confidence pretty much left you after that. "I know that makes me a hypocrite, but I- I can't help it. I like you so much it hurts. I was never going to tell you, but I had no idea how much it'd actually affect me if you ever got a girlfriend," you continued, hand squeezing his own every so often, "I thought I'd be ready to see you find someone else and take that as a sign to move on but, fuck, I felt like shit walking out of here this afternoon knowing you were going to see another girl."
By the time you'd finished your confession, your eyes were glassy. They weren't really facing Jungkook's anymore, but he could still tell. His eyes were glassy too.
His heart had stopped within first sentence. He wasn't sure how he was currently sitting up, somehow not having passed out at the initial confession. He also found himself completely mute, unable to react to what was a life changing moment for him.
"Kook?", you called his attention, hand letting go of his own and retracting into yourself, "I kinda need you to say something here," you let out an awkward chuckle, eyes wide and worried in contrast.
"I- I, fuck," he stammered, "I almost slept with Sora tonight," was what he had not planned to say whatsoever, but still somehow found leaving his lips.
"Oh."
Yes. 'Oh.'
"Wait, I didn't mean-"
But you stood up, still refusing to look at him.
"I should go. I'm sorry if I got in the way of your plans."
You tried to push past him, but he towered over you, stubborn in letting you leave but still too panicked to return your sentiment.
He felt like a complete and utter piece of shit.
"Wait, please don't go," he pleaded, hand bracketing around your wrist.
"I think I embarrassed myself enough, Jungkook."
"You didn't! Please, I don't know why I said that. It wasn't true, I- I couldn't go through with it. That's what I meant to say," that seemed to get you to stop fighting him, but your sniffled and glassy eyes remained.
"It's fine, Jungkook. You don't have to try and spare my feelings. I knew it wasn't mutual, I didn't mean anything by it, I-"
That was seemingly what broke the camel's back.
"It is mutual! I'm in love with you!", he interrupted, surprising himself even more than you.
Quiet fell for a few moments, breaths as heavy as the tension of the room.
"What?"
"That's why I could never go on dates. Why I always said no when the guys set me up. Why I shut you off any time you got a boyfriend ... Why I stopped things with Sora before they could go too far."
His admission got you to finally look at him. The look in your eyes was indescribable to Jungkook. He'd never seen it before. There was shock mixed with something else. Perhaps hope? That's more or less what he felt at the moment.
"Are you lying to me?", you asked in a sudden shift of demeanor, now a serious edge to your tone.
"What? N-no! I- I love you. I've been in love with you for years. You can ask any of the guys. It's embarrassing and time-consuming, but it's always been there. I swear it's-"
That's as far as Jungkook got. He'd never be able to recall what other embarrassing detail about his crush he was about to share, but he found himself unable to care as soon as he realized what the source of his interruption was.
This kiss was incomparable — despite having shared a heavy kiss with someone else less than an hour prior.
No, this kiss was full of emotions Jungkook would need a thesaurus to describe. He was completely out of his league (but, really, when was he not?), lips attempting to follow your hungry ones but losing the battle.
The discrepancy in experience between the two of you was entirely too visible in the kiss, but Jungkook wasn't complaining. He was getting the better end of the stick and you didn't seem to find any issue, so he just counted his blessings and continued to kiss you to his heart's desire.
Your tongue sucked at his own, making his eyes roll back. His hands, which were usually shy in touching you, were greedy in grabbing at and squeezing any part of you available to him. The usual shyness was replaced with sheer need.
Usually, he would've been embarrassed by the needy whimpers he kept leaving against your lips, but he was too into it to stop. You'd reward every whimper with a slight pull of his hair, so he saw it as a good sign and allow himself to let loose.
When he was almost out of air, you pulled away, though Jungkook's lips attempted to follow, not wanting a single second of separation from you. He was able to steal two pecks and one lick of lips before you pressed your arms against his chest to stop him.
"I'm in love with you too," you were breathless as you said it, "I just thought it was safer to tell you I liked you to, you know, preserve some of my dignity in case it wasn't mutual," you chuckled.
Jungkook's mind was somewhere in Kansas at the moment, not really paying full attention to your words. Knowing you loved him back was life-changing, but the monkey-brained part of him was itching for more of your touch at the moment.
"Where'd your mind go?", you giggled when you took note of his dazed look.
Your hands went to pull him closer once more, which he accepted immediately by locking his arms around your waist.
"What? I, uh, nothing," he mumbled, eyes not meeting your own.
God, how had he gotten horny over a simple kiss?
You caught on quickly, grinning up at him as you attempted to fish at his eyes, following his head any time he tried to turn away from your view but failing. It was comedic in contrast to how tense things had just been.
"What's wrong, Kookie?", you sing-sang, "Something on your mind?"
He gave you what he was sure was a pathetic, pleading look, "Please don't be mean to me. My brain's barely catching up to what's happening," he whined.
"I get to be mean for you. You almost slept with another girl tonight," you huffed jokingly.
With a wince, he groaned, to which you just giggled, causing him to drop his head into your shoulder.
"That's not fair."
"I think it's pretty fair. Here I was, pining over you and you're out there about to give it away to some random girl," you continued.
His response came in the form of nuzzling into your neck, encouraged by your arms pulling him closer.
"Stop," he whined, "It was so shitty. I hated it."
You pulled him away from the comfort of the crook of your neck (much to his dismay) to look at him once more. Luckily for him, your arms were still on his shoulders, allowing him to retain close proximity to you — he was unsure how he'd ever accept any distance between you from now on.
There was some worry in your eyes. Or at least that's what the furrow in your brows and the slight pout made him think.
"What happened?"
"Oh, uh, it was nothing. She just ... I guess Joon's not that good at matchmaking," he explained, not really finding it worth it to go back to that moment. Not when he had something so much better now, and weirdly enough as a result of his shitty night.
You offered him another pout, reaching up to give him a sweet kiss as an acceptance of him not wanting to give too many details.
"Mmm, wait, not yet," he mumbled when you went to pull away, this time successful in keeping your lips locked.
Despite your giggle in response, you continued kissing him, soon going back to the pace you'd had during your earlier kiss. It soon turned heavy and wet, making Jungkook's mind daze once more.
Jungkook was on a mission, refusing to let the kiss end. Putting his all into the kiss, he allowed you to take his mind away, making him all but literally melt at your touch. Matching sighs left you, the sound mixing with the squelch of your tongues licking and sucking at each other.
Eventually, Jungkook turned around — lips still connected — and let himself be pushed to sit back on the couch, with you straddling his lap as a result. The newfound warmth of your body atop his own made him dizzy with desire. It was a feeling he'd never experienced before, and it was quickly growing addictive.
A high whine was left against your lips when your hands moved onto his hair, pulling at it softly at first and increasing the intensity based on his sounds. He melted under you, knowing he'd be willing to let you do whatever you wanted to him without even having to ask.
Hands explored your body, feeling an innate need to map out every inch and pull you as close to him as possible, almost to the point of molding with one another.
Your lips explored his neck for a bit, occasionally nibbling and licking at the skin. The contrast between the warmth of your breath and the coolness of your tongue had him sighing out in pleasure.
Who would've thought having his neck kissed could feel so orgasmic?
He wasn't sure whether he was happy or frustrated when your lips found his own again. As petulant as it sounded, he wanted your touch everywhere, all at once. His skin was burning, as were his loins — and no contact further than some kissing had been done.
"Mm, Kook-" you failed at interrupting the kiss, trapped into another and another, "Shit, Kook," you tried again, but easily fell back into it, letting Jungkook lick into your mouth, "Wait, baby."
Baby?
Okay, that stopped him.
"What's wrong?", Jungkook was sure he looked completely gone. His eyes were still glued to your lips and his chest heaved with his heavy breath.
"Are you sure you want to keep going with this? I don't want to push you," you asked, breath equally erratic.
He could've laughed at the question.
There was no doubt in his mind that he needed to keep going. His body was already about to explode, and you were asking him if he wanted to stop? He felt let out a silent whine at the mere suggestion of stopping.
He kissed you again, hands gripping your hips and instinctively pulling you closer.
You took this as a hint to crumble his sanity even further by beginning to grind on him, slow yet intensely. It had him hiccuping in pleasure against your lips, sighing out and allowing you access to his open mouth.
"Please- oh, fuck, please," he pleaded for nothing in particular.
"Is this okay?," you asked uselessly.
Jungkook nodded, letting his head fall back to the back of the couch as his hips pathetically humped up along with yours. There was no direct contact, but the mere stimulation had Jungkook's eyes seeing white. It was reminiscent of all those nights he'd grow too frustrated with himself and begin humping at his pillow with you in mind. He'd always been too embarrassed to acknowledge such a deprived act, but at least he could now confirm there were no grounds for comparison.
"It's so good, fuck. Want- want more."
By then, you were humping at each other like deprived animals, gasping and crying out at the contact.
Jungkook was unsure when you'd thrown off your shirt, far too distracted by the feeling of you on top of him, but his ability to think completely left him at that moment. Your hands let go of him, instead grabbing at your breasts and playing with yourself right in front of him.
It was like a wet dream come to life, mocking him by showing him how weak and pathetic he was.
The sight had him let out an embarrassing whimper. His face reflected how pained he felt at the view, so needy and painfully horny for you.
"Y-you're so ... Fuck, please, I need- can I ... ?"
He wasn't sure what sentence he was trying to make, but the ability to feel shame had exited his mind a good while ago. To be frank, Jungkook wasn't even sure what reality he was in at the moment. The only thought occupying his mind was your body testing his resolve in a way that he knew would ruin him.
You nodded, biting your lip to prevent a smile of satisfaction as Jungkook let his head fall in between your breasts, lips immediately mapping out the are through kisses and needy flicks of the tongue. He grew immediately obsessed with the feeling of your skin under his touch. It was soft, supple, just perfect to the touch. The scent of your perfume was even stronger now, and Jungkook knew then that the smell alone could probably condition him into a boner from now on.
His hips became frantic then, almost pushing you off him with their intensity. But you took it, silently leading him with your own movements as you held onto him for support.
He was beginning to lose himself, knowing an orgasm was approaching. The fleeting thought of your own orgasm made its way into his mind, but it was quickly gone when you started to breathe out encouragements for him to cum, claiming you were right there with him, that you needed him to ruin his pants for you.
When it finally took him, his eyes crossed, head thrown back as he babbled nonsense in absolute bliss. His brain was barely able to register when a few moments later, your own orgasm hit you just as hard. His hips never gave up, still softly swaying with yours as his high went down. He could've sworn he lost consciousness for a few second, as he finally became conscious with himself again when you were kissing at his neck again.
"Fuck. I wasn't planning on that happening," you giggled between soft pecks to the already tattered skin.
"Is this real?", he mused after a few moments of silence. His hands even went to squeeze at your hips, making sure you were truly there.
Unfortunately for him, that's when you left his lap, making him whine as he sat up to close your distance.
"That's not even the best of it, pretty boy," were your last words before turning towards his room, smiling at him to follow you.
Jungkook, being Jungkook, did not think twice before getting up and following you without further instruction, even tripping in the process.
~
Within just a few minutes of being in his room, you were down to your panties and him to his boxers. As mandated by nature, you were sitting on him again, holding him down by pinning his arms above his head as you made out with him as nasty as you'd done in his living room.
Jungkook had no complaints. If you wanted him tied up and to your mercy, he'd go as far as to beg for the opportunity. His mind was not his own anymore, and neither was his body. As far as he was concerned, he belonged to you — a totally reasonable thought to have.
To be fair, it was quite hard for him to think while the girl of his dreams was lying on top of him with her tongue in his mouth. Not that he was complaining, not at all.
Surprisingly to Jungkook, his hands took free rein of your body. They went from your hair to your back to your ass to your waist and back to your hair. A whole tour of your body was had before Jungkook decided to take a leap and sneak one of his hands between your bodies and take a route south.
Jungkook was inexperienced. That was an unfortunate fact of his life. But despite popular belief, Jungkook was not an idiot. He liked to believe that he was more knowledgeable than the average guy ... maybe. He had tried to overcompensate early during college by taking a female sexuality course and diving into the depths of reddit in order to understand the things he hadn't been able to experience first hand.
That being said, you still had to silently nudge his hand a little higher in the midst of making out, leading him to your clit before gasping into his mouth at the sensation.
His bruised ego got re-inflated quickly after, with your following reactions to his corrected movements going straight to his dick. Your hips canted against his fingers, following their movements in a desperate attempt at increasing the stimulation. Jungkook's head felt heavy at the constant sighs you'd release against his lips.
"Does ... does it feel good?", he still felt the need to ask.
You hummed into his lips in response, tightening around his fingers at the sound of his voice.
Fuck, did you like his voice?
This was something he'd need to save for future use.
Before he could continue to speak, you regrettably removed his fingers from inside you, earning a whine and a furrowed eyebrow from him.
"As much as I want you to finger me, I'd rather defile you," you said with all seriousness, giggling when Jungkook's reaction didn't go further than wide eyes.
"It's okay, baby. I'll make it good for you, I promise," your hand laid on his cheek, caressing it in a gentle manner, creating a huge contrast with your soaked panties sitting right on top of his stained boxers. That was just something he had to ignore in order to not burst spontaneously.
"That's not really what I'm worried about," he avoided eye contact, though his hands remained on you.
"Then what's wrong, Kookie?"
"What if ... what if it's not good for you. I, uh, I know you've done it with a few guys before — N-not judging or anything! Just, I- I don't want to disappoint you or, uhm, embarrass myself," he mumbled some parts lower than others, a little embarrassed by his insecurities on top of it all.
"Koo," you pouted at him, tilting his chin towards you — something that otherwise would've had him reeling — "I've already had way more fun with you than with anyone else. You know why?", you gave him that comforting smile he loved, "Because I like you, and I know you like me just as much. And I know you'll do everything in your power to make this good for me cause you're just ... you're such a good guy. This is just about making each other feel good. Okay? No need to worry about making me feel good, I promise I already am," you punctuated your statement with a kiss to his nose, giggling when he scrunched it.
"Yeah, I, uh, yeah, okay."
He suddenly found himself blushing, having undermined your proximity, or, you know, the fact that you were naked and on top of him, coaxing him into sex that he very much wanted to have with you.
Before you could say anything else, a fiery part of him took over, pulling you into him for a steamy kiss, wanting to express all his word-vomit through actions rather than stumbled words. There was no better way for him to show you how he felt about you, how good he wanted to make you feel. His words would often fail him, so he opted to show you through his actions.
Mid kiss, you got up from his lap, though Jungkook did not allow for the kiss to end, opting to lean upwards and sit up so he could keep himself connected to you. It was awkward, having you lean down as you blindly removed your panties, but it felt necessary to Jungkook. Within seconds you were already back on his lap, clawing at his own boxers to try and remove them while still sitting. It was awkward and difficult, but the job was eventually done, leaving the two of you nude as Jungkook attempted not to hump into you like a needy animal.
"I- I want- God, I want to fuck you so bad," he mumbled in a daze.
"Fuck, you have no idea, Kookie."
You sounded equally as wrecked, already one orgasm in and completely drenched above him. It made Jungkook feel powerful and wanted. He'd never felt desired like this before. It was making him lose his mind. Every passing second without being inside you made him more and more antsy.
Then you finally lifted yourself up, this time prying Jungkook's hands away from your hips so you could lean towards his end table where he knew you'd find condoms.
That shocked Jungkook, making him look at you with wide eyes.
"How-
"I know the guys have been trying to get you laid for ages. Jimin told me he got you some condoms," you chuckled at his shock as you nonchalantly ripped the packet open with your mouth, — fuck, why was that so hot? — taking your position on his crotch once more in order to insert it.
He whimpered at the sight, too turned on to feel embarrassed over it as he ushered for you to hurry up. More tiny sounds of desperation continued to leave him as you actually slipped on the condom and lifted yourself up. The buildup drove him insane with desire. Every second felt elongated, but when the moment to finally lower yourself on him came, Jungkook swore he left this dimension.
He'd read about what it was like. Hell, he'd watched endless porn depicting what were meant to represent virgins (but he was aware were just actors), hoping to understand what the feeling of finally being enveloped by an actual pussy would feel like. But it was safe to say none of it came close to reality.
He was unsure of what he must've looked like to you at that moment, but he truly felt himself completely ruined. His mouth was agape while his eyes closed shut, eyebrows lifting so high up they were likely at his hairline. Fingers dug into your skin, careless of any bruises they could leave behind (he made a mental note of asking if he could kiss them better later, but it was buried under every other feeling at the moment). His toes curled and his body hair rose in goosebumps. Every other part of himself went unaccounted for, as pleasure took over his ability to process anything else.
It was the safest feeling possible. He knew it was an odd way to describe it, but he truly felt like he was made to be inside you. Like he was fitting a part of the puzzle he'd been looking for forever.
On top of that was the immense pleasure, of course. The incoherent pleas and whimpers leaving his lips were a testament of it.
He begged and pleaded and cried and whined and made every embarrassing sound known to man as you started to move. You'd given him a few moments to get used to it, asking if you could move (you only received a gasp and a pathetic nod as a response) before you began a pace so torturously good that it had Jungkook reconsidering his religion.
"S'so good ... fuck. Oh, god, fuck, it's so- ah! shit, f-fuck me," he babbled, literally drooling at the feeling.
He was so yours in this moment, it was ridiculous. Jungkook had always claimed himself as yours (and had even subconsciously saved himself for you), but this feeling simply solidified it. There was no reality in which he wasn't made for you. Made to receive and give all the pleasure from and to you.
At first, his brain could not even process the view above him, and he was glad for it. Because as soon as he could, he was a gone man.
You mirrored his reaction to a certain extent, gasping and furrowing your brows any time his dick would hit a specific part of you that gave you that extra hit of pleasure. Your back was arched and your pelvis glued to his own. The view was something Jungkook could never forget.
"Feel so good, Kookie, fuck ... How could you be worried when it's so fucking good ..." you sighed.
You rambled praise for him, aiding tenfold to the indescribable feeling of being with you in such a bare form. Jungkook was sure his orgasm was pathetically close, but he could not bring himself to even think of it. Not when his undoing was so unimaginably euphoric.
He had no way of warning you, instead writhing and gasping under you. It was an out of body experience, taking him to a place so high he wasn't sure he would ever come back down.
And then everything went dark.
He wasn't sure how long he was unconscious for, but by the time the convulsions ended and his heart rate went back down, you were already lying down next to him. Cuddled up next to him, your fingers ran up and down his chest in a softness he'd never experienced, accompanied by the occasional peck left against his skin.
"Love you," he mumbled when his words finally found him.
"You scared me!," you sat up a bit to face him better, "Are you back with me now? Did my pussy break you?"
You were joking, but Jungkook was almost entirely sure that was what had happened.
"How long was I out for?", he turned to face you, arm wrapping around you to pull you closer.
"Just a few minutes. Was that too intense?"
"Hah, no, just ... yeah. I've never felt something like that before."
"Well, now you get to feel it any time you want," you grinned at him with a peck to his lips.
"Hmm, yeah," he mumbled happily before a thought snapped him out of his post-coital daze, "Wait, fuck, did you cum?"
"Yeah. I was almost there, Kookie, don't worry. Just had to work myself a bit more after you passed out. No biggie," you reassured him.
Before he could protest, you shushed him with your hand hovering over his mouth.
"Don't whine about it. I literally came in my pants because of you. Consider that a win."
And that was that.
Jungkook decided to let it go and instead cuddle you to sleep, completely disregarding the rollercoaster this night had been. Nothing else really seemed to matter while he held you in his arms anyways. Especially due to the warmth of your bare skin against his own, just like he'd always wanted.
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to read short 1.8k word continuation (+ all other previously written bonus content) you can go join my jk monthly tier on patreon!
content: jk and reader being annoying and in their honeymoon phase, smut, afab reader, grinding, kissing, oral (m receiving), overstimulation, etc.
wc: 451 (teaser); 1842 (full drabble)
sneak peak:
"God, man, I heard about Sora. I'm so sorry," Joon began, "I didn't think she'd be so mean to you. She hounded me in the hallway just an hour ago about lying to her and setting her up with a loser — sorry, her words."
This caused you to groan in annoyance, cuddling further into Jungkook at the mention of the faceless girl you'd never met but had grown to hate.
Jungkook had let you in on all the details on what had happened upon further insistence from you. It was safe to say that he had to talk you down from jumping her in the hallway (he knew you'd never actually do such a thing, but the thought counted regardless).
"Ew, don't bring her up. Jungkook's never looked in another woman's direction ever. Right, Kookie?"
It was a little inside joke between you. After having defiled him, you'd developed some healthy possessiveness over him. He was over the moon about it, always playing into it.
Joon simply chuckled, rolling his eyes at both the joke and the sight of the two of you practically cuddled up on a bench in the middle of the quad. No sense or shame for being that annoying couple, nor any care for your other friends sitting across from you, already put off by you.
"It's true," Jungkook nodded, "And that shitty date ended up working in my favor in the end, so if anything, I should be thanking you," he added.
"Finally getting you to shut up about Y/N is payment enough," he walked over to the bench you'd been sitting at, with Taehyung and Jimin sitting to the other side of it.The two had quickly learned to disregard the two of you and your lovesickness for each other, "Now get off each other. No one needs to see you sitting on Jungkook's lap at 11:30 in the morning."
"We already tried. They literally kicked me off that side of the bench so she could lay on him," grumbled Jimin before giving his attention back to Taehyung.
You got up then, nose scrunching at Kook's whine at the sudden disconnect between you, "It's fine. We were just leaving anyway," you held out your hand for him to get up.
"Let me know when the honeymoon phase is over," jested Joon as he took the seat you'd emptied.
Already on your way to leave, you turned back with a smile, "You're just jealous that me and my boyfriend are in love!", Jungkook giggled at your loudness.
"Where are we going?", he asked as he followed you mindlessly.
"To get some privacy, baby. They don't tolerate real lovers here," you joked in a mockingly serious tone.
...
find the continuation on patreon!
if you have trouble finding it on there, just let me know!!<3
1K notes · View notes
cvnt4him · 2 months ago
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hii!! im the anon that requested that hyperspermia drabble <3!!
imagine izuku giving you backshots for the first time and he’s so memorized by your ass jiggling he has to give it a little smack and have his big scarred hands on your low back, pushing arching you more so he can do deeper and see it jiggle more 😵‍💫😵‍💫
bonus points is if he’s a absolute mess while doing it, his hips just losing rhythm because feeling you jiggle against his pelvis, his ball slapping your sensitive clit and how much your squeezing him, he’s losing his fucking mind 🙂‍↕️
(p.s, your now one of my favorite izuku writers <3)
- 🩸
I am so glad I'm one of your faves<3 it means far too much to me than you may think, you've simply become one of my fav anons just from the two reqs you've sent in; THEY'RE JS SO GOOD
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Izuku loves having sex with you, it's such a heartfelt and beautiful thing. He truly believes when you're having sex it's not just something you're doing to chase after pure lust; it's a bonding ritual. Seriously, he takes this type of thing too seriously. Never to the point that it's unenjoyable because trust, he puts your pleasure first at all times.
Izuku just really thinks it's deeper than just feeling good. I mean he's literally entering your body, that has to mean something spiritually maybe, right?
However just because izuku thinks that way sometimes doesnt mean he has urges. Of course he does, he has the worlds most sensitive body and he can't help getting turned on when you so much as touch his neck.
He tried to hold off on them sometimes because he understands nourishing relationships is key to having long lasting ones, he doesn't want to scare you off with the consistency of sex.. but he just can't seem to help himself.
That's how you ended up on all fours head thrown back and ass throwing back against your boyfriend. Izuku loses himself in your cunt pretty fastly, he's been thrusting into you with hard thrusts of his thick cock harshly. His hands held your shoulders at first and he had his eyes squeezed shut from the very beginning, he knew he needed this.
His thrusts were quick and filled with need, he lets his eyes drape open slightly just to see how you were doing; y'know check up on you. It was never his intention to get hypnotized by the jiggles of your ass every time his pelvis met it. He got so fixated on it trying to speed up his thrusts to see it jiggle more, it got him off far more than he expected he couldn't take his eyes away.
Mumbling low groans and helpless moans, he squeezed the flesh on your ass causing you to moan biting your lips with a smile and small giggle, you slowed your body and gently ground your ass against his pelvis as he tried to continue jerking his hips into you, it got quite unrhythmic and unsteady he couldn't help whining at the lack of feeling from you only grinding.
Izuku was quick to try and have you bouncing on his cock again, he rubbed your lower back before harshly pushing you down into the pillows by your head causing a low sound to leave your mouth.
“, mmph-!”
“, ’m so sorry baby, ‘m sorry..— hafta, need t’ take it.”
He started his movements up again, harsh quick and full of need and greed. Izuku couldn't contain the noises he tried to keep in to assure that he could hear you anymore. He let them all glow out freely as he quickly began losing himself more and more at the feel of your pussy squeezing him like a vice, the way you convulsed and twitched around his achingly hard cock, it sucked him in like it didn't want to let him go and that's all he could wrap his head around his eyes never leaving the repeated jiggle of your ass snd the faster his movements got the faster they got.
The way you arched your back into him your ass basically throwing itself on his dick had his mind spinning. With a groaned he couldn't help keeping his hands in your body letting them roam all over your moving body squeezing whatever he could that was there but he needed your ass.
Izuku was quick to let his deepest urges take over as he let a harsh slap fall onto your ass causing your body to jerk forward and a squeak to leave; he loved that. It's as if you tried to get away when it landed but arched deeper into him after. He wasn't a bad guy for doing it again right?
Your ass was red by the time he finished, chasing his own orgasm as he jerks his hips into yours. He still can't wrap his mind around everything your cunt gripping him tightly as he chokes on his breath, stuttering hips slamming into you at an unsteady pace causing him to nearly lose himself. He tried so hard to hold out for you; assure that you had a good time but you just had to speak when his mind was already turned to mush,
“, cum f’me zuku? cum inside’a me...?”
Your voice pitchy and quite whiney as well, it sounded more like a question and that's what turned him on so more, brought him closer to the edge. with a gutteral and broken moan he emptied his still jerking balls inside of you, his cum filling you literally completely. His cock was so sensitive and you were still tightening around it while he was cumming, literally milking his cock for all it was worth; and boy was it worth alot.
You could feel his milky cum reach your deepest depths, it felt as if it extinguished a fire that was inside, it made you hum out a sigh and gently throw your hips back against him, his hips stuttered inside of you causing him to moan loudly at the overstimulation.
Upon cleaning yourself up izuku ends up apologizing, in the moment he couldn't really think about anything else other than your ass he completely forgot about making you cum.
“ I'm so so so sorry, I'm so selfish I don't deserve you— please don't hate me, I can make it up to you!”
Little did he know you came a couple of times, when he loses his mind he loses his composure and will to hold back as well he gets quite rough and completely throws everything out the window. You end up telling him how the ass smacking really turned you on and he turned so red silently asking you if you wanted him to do it more often.
Something tells you this won't be the last time you have good sex; because it's always good. lol
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AN: this was a little different and honestly kind of difficult but it was so amazing, I hope it lives up to your standards I wrote this in one sitting bc I was so fixated on it, I've never been in such a vibe holy hell
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reignpage · 2 months ago
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Vice President!Sukuna
Ames: espionage
Contents: angsty, a little sexual so 18+ mdni, confusing, bts of the speed dating event, not proofread, meant to post this before the part 1 but I thought you guys would want to be closer to the reveal, still some people might appreciate the fluff here
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Sukuna mutters. 
There, inside Conference Room 3, is a disgusting display of desperation and pitiful misery. Streamers have been thrown all over every surface, desks and chairs arranged in a shit circle and balloons have been blown up and litter the floor. 
If he had it his way, this stupid society would have never been allowed to form; the last thing the world needs is more community and whatever rainbow glitter fairy princess propaganda is being spread in this cult. 
Well, of course, he technically does have it his way. As president, he could make this society’s life a pain, he could cut their funding, could cancel their bookings for every room, could convince the trustees this is a counter-productive organisation. And if he didn’t want to bother with all that work, he could snap his fingers and have the whole farce disappear in a blink of an eye. 
But he doesn’t. 
Can’t. 
And that makes him grind his teeth even harder. Because there in a seat, facing a pimply faced loser, is you. 
His president. 
Or rather, was. 
Your hair is down, instead of tied up all neat and clean like usual, you’re wearing a dress, it’s new, he can tell, and you’ve even done your makeup. All for whom?
Him?
Some stuttering loser who keeps glancing at your breast like it’s the first time he’s ever seen a bit of cleavage? Or maybe for the guy that replaces him once the alarm blares, signalling the end of the five-minute allotted time for every stranger. This one is even more annoying than the last; his hair is slicked back with an aggressive amount of hair gel, and he’s wearing a suit. 
He’s actually wearing a suit. 
It’s ill-fitted — blazer too tight around the shoulders but loose and long on the sleeves, and his trousers don’t even reach his ankles. When you scrunch your nose up, Sukuna’s sure, too, that the guy is wearing so much aftershave that he should have bene wearing a hazmat suit instead. 
Stupid. All of this is stupid. If a boyfriend is what you’re looking for, then you’re never going to find it here; none of these filthy losers could ever give you what you need. 
Sukuna knew it as soon as he laid eyes on you at the campaign day, when you were both handing out flyers and leaflets, and educating people on your policies. Well, he wasn’t handing anything out, he had his assistant, Uraume, do that for him. But, as he leaned back in a chair and watched a line of people form, eager to catch his attention, his eyes kept drifting to you. 
You were rigid, stern-looking and a pain to look at. He could tell how badly you wanted it, could see by the way your hands shook, or how passionately you spoke to the other students, and even when you made eye contact with him. Wincing, you forced a smile on your face, trying to look civil but he could see the repulsion in your eyes. 
It intrigued him. 
That was the very first time he had ever seen you, and yet, somehow you knew he wasn’t a friend. If only others could have that survival instinct, he thought when a girl hugged his arm and asked to take a picture with the future student council president. 
Now, look at you. 
You’re actually smiling at that freak. It doesn’t meet your eyes and when you laugh it doesn’t make his chest do that weird thing, so he knows it’s fake. A sincere laugh seldom leaves your lips; he gets it, not many people are funny, though most would like to think they are. But he had made you laugh once. 
When you were both showing an old alum around, having been told by the Dean to butter him up so he’ll cough up some dough for a new sports hall because apparently the three EdenU has isn’t enough. The stuffy old loser was snappy and bossy and sexist as fuck — he thought you were the assistant and ordered you to fetch him coffee, tissues, a chair and so on. 
Sukuna wanted to intervene sooner, his fingers itching to throw a punch, but the firm shake of your head made him fist his hands, vibrating with barely restrained anger. Violence may have been off the cards, but good old mental warfare wasn’t. So, he told Uraume to make sure the family was no longer investing in the loser’s tech start up, effective immediately, and he watched the old man scramble when he got a phone call that turned his face red. 
It was when he spluttered his coffee all over himself that you laughed. 
Because you’re just like him. — you crave to let everyone know their place, the only difference is, you don’t have the power to back you. Yet. 
And when Cheap Suit takes your hand to lay a slobbery kiss all over your knuckles, Sukuna pushes off from the wall he’s been standing by for the better half of an hour and comes to stand before the both of you. 
His shadow darkens the table, nervous eyes glancing at him. Your ‘date’ gulps at the intense glare he’s receiving and somehow, good for him, gets the hint. He leaves and Sukuna takes his seat. 
“What the fuck?”
For someone so clean and put together, you have a terribly dirty mouth. It makes him want to clean it out with soap, or something else entirely. And now that he’s sitting in front of you, he actually understands why the men you’ve been talking to couldn’t keep their eyes off your chest. 
Goddamn, he wants to bury his face in there. 
“Stop staring at my tits, idiot,” you snark, face contorted into pure frustration. “Why the fuck are you here?”
Rolling his eyes, he leans back in the chair, crossing his arms. With a drawl, he argues back, “Can’t I be here? I have every right to, prez.”
Your mood sours when you hear that from him and you lean back too, fingers drumming as you count down the minutes until the alarm blares. Everyone else is having a good time, smiling and laughing and exchanging numbers. But not you. Nope. Never. Because the universe hates you. 
“Don’t call me that.”
His brow ticks up. “Why not? You are the prez.”
“I’m not anymore.”
His eyes darken impossibly more, narrowing, and the people next to you shuffle uncomfortably in their seats as if they could feel that malevolent energy radiating off him. At least it isn’t directed at them. Lucky. 
“You’re always going to be the prez.”
The alarm goes off, shrill and overly joyful. You both wince. 
But when the next guy stands by, he has to shuffle his feet awkwardly, uncertain at why the pink-haired man is refusing to move and isn’t even looking at him. Eventually, seeing that Sukuna’s made himself all too comfortable in his seat, the guy skips over to the next vacant table. 
You exhale through your nose, trying to count to ten. 
“Why do you have to ruin everything?” You hiss. 
He rolls his eyes again and fires back, “You’re being dramatic. None of these guys are your type, so I’m just saving you from wasting your time. You’re welcome.”
Your eye twitches. “What do you know about me?”
Sukuna cocks his head, looking over at you with interest, like you’ve just said something funny. And then, he tips his chin over at the double doors. “Let’s get outta here. It’s hot as shit and these people stink.”
“No.”
“No?”
You cross your own arms and huff. “I’m not going anywhere.”
With a laugh, deep and menacing, his eyes twinkle and you feel your heart drop to your ass. Oh shit. 
“You’re leaving here, with me. Either willingly or thrown over my shoulder. Your choice, prez.”
And you know he’s telling the truth, can see it in the way he’s sitting up, eyeing the space around you so he can calculate the best angle and placement. He’s determining the amount of space between the tables and the firmness of the table and the chairs, and trying to determine if anyone would dare put up a fight. 
Groaning in your hands, you push the chair back and leave without looking anywhere else. You can’t take the amused or confused looks people would throw at you, and you certainly can’t take the smug grin on his face. He always gets what he wants. Fucking Ryomen prince. 
The evening breeze is colder than the last time you had been in this position with him. And that night seems so long ago and yet it’s as if it’s happening right now, because you had never moved on, it still haunts you. That professor’s lingering hands can never be washed off. The Dean made sure of that. 
“So, you’re doing yoga and speed dating,” he comes up next to you, hands stuffed in his pockets. 
You shrug. “I’ve also joined the Green Thumb and the Volleyball Society.”
“Volleyball, huh?” Sukuna looks you over with a small smirk and then it’s like he remembered something because he shakes his head with a frustrated growl. “Why the fuck are you doing all that shit?”
You both walk off, not doing anything in particular or heading somewhere special. Just like last time. 
“I have a lot of time now, like you said.” It’s cold and you’re just wearing a dress, you shiver. 
He scoffs behind you, nudging you with an elbow. “Didn’t bring my varsity jacket, so suck it up.”
“Wasn’t gonna ask anyways,” you mutter, and you’re aware by the glare he throws at you that you both know you’re lying.
Eventually, you reach the park. It’s dark and empty and you feel fear prick the back of your neck. Sukuna is not the kind of man you should be walking at night, alone, with. Sure, you’re confident he wouldn’t lay a finger on you, but you’re also not convinced he doesn’t have a snake den ready for you to trip and fall into. 
“You’re doing all sorts, but you haven’t come to a basketball game,” he grumbles. 
“Why would I?”
Sukuna scoffs, strolling leisurely and unbothered by the cool breeze that gives you goosebumps, he’s also assessing the environment around, like the rustling bushes contained machetes and machine guns. Always so suspicious. 
He’s been everywhere recently. He was there when you were painting the landscape on a Wednesday afternoon, when you were doing a book club on the Quad, and even when you were walking back late from the Exotic Dance Society. You don’t know why you joined that last one; it sounded kind of fun. 
When you shiver, he groans. And then he’s keeping a firm hand on your shoulder, stilling you both. In a flash, you’re being pressed against a tree, his front holding you down. Spluttering, you try to push him off you, but his body is like a wall, all solid and unyielding. And it’s just like the party when he held you and swayed to silent music. 
But Sukuna’s warm and it feels good, so you stop fighting. 
“Alright, enough chit-chat,” he growls in your face. Gone is all the civility, the politeness and propriety, or at least his version of it. “Tell me why you quit.”
“Fuck you,” you spit back at him. 
“We can do that, too,” he sneers. “But I want an explanation now.”
When you feel something hard poking your stomach, you know he means it. And God fucking damn it, you hate that you’re wet. It’s poor survival skills to be attracted to a monster, you’re guaranteed a slow death as a prey. Your heartbeat is going a hundred miles per hour, chest heaving and rubbing against his. 
Sukuna looks so angry, face sharpened into focus as he searches your eyes for the truth. But even as he pins you to a tree in an empty park, his desire is present, and he’s so much bigger and stronger than you, all you want is for him to kiss you. You want him to stop asking questions, to stop reminding you of everything you’ve lost, and to just satisfy that itch between you two, to alleviate the tension that’s been building up. 
It was always going to boil down to this. 
“Sign the papers, Sukuna,” you whisper.
He hates how soft your voice is, how calm and comforting it’s become. He wants to be mad, wants to fight so he can shout and scream and bully you into submission, like he’s done with everyone else. Like he did with stupid pricks who egged your window and the professor who dared touch you with his filthy, undeserving hands. 
“Tell me why you left me, prez,” he mutters back. 
You hate how desperate he sounds, how his lips are plush and gentle against your cheek as he noses at your hairlines, inhaling deep and with a groan before burying his face into the crook of your neck. His hands move from beside your heads and onto your hips, keeping you still, like he’s afraid you’re going to run off. 
“Sukuna,” you begin, “I don’t want to play this game.” Your voice is scratchy, and your vision is blurring. God, this is so humiliating. You’re actually going to cry. 
“Then don’t.”
Hands pushing at his shoulders, you try to wriggle out of his hold. This is bad. You shouldn’t feel this way, shouldn’t care. You should hate him but he’s holding you like you’re the only thing grounding him and it feels nice, to be held, by him. It feels like all is right in the world, like you have everything in the palms of your hands. 
But it isn’t and you don’t. 
“Sukuna. Let me go.”
He must have heard something in your voice. Maybe the strain in it or the desperation. Whatever it was, it makes him pulls away. He’s not looking at you, just breathing hard and clenching his fists at his sides. He’s livid. 
No, there’s something more. 
It’s reflecting what’s inside of you. 
But you can’t dwell on it. You aren’t ready to explain, to remind him of what he did two years ago, of what he’s done now. And you aren’t sure if it’s because you’re too cowardly to return to that point in your life you’ve been trying to pretend never happened or if it’s because you don’t want the way he looks at you to change. 
So, you walk away, stumbling and clutching yourself to bring warmth back. And when he yells at you, you don’t look back. 
“This will never be over between us,” he growls, “over my dead body, prez.”
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reareaotaku · 6 months ago
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True Hate-filled Love
Summary: You hate Five and he hates you, but maybe with one simple agreement you can see one another from the other's view Pairings: Five Hargreeves x Reader Tw: Enemies to Lovers, Klaus shenanigans, Ganging-up on Klaus/Clowning Five, Klaus was a flat-earther???? [Since Umbrella Academy is trending and the new season was ass, I'll give you something better written than the whole season]
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You and Five never agreed on anything. If you said the sky was blue or that the grass was green, he would disagree with you and vice versa. Even if the other agreed, your pride was too high to admit that maybe the other person was right. It was one of the flaws you both shared, along with your mutual hatred for each other. Though, maybe you didn't hate each other as much as you thought.
It all started one afternoon, when you and Five were sitting in the kitchen in quiet; For the first time ever. Unluckily for you both, Klaus was more than happy to ruin the peace you both had created with each other for the first time since knowing each other.
You ignored his presence at first because you didn't want to give him much thought. That was until he said something so incredibly stupid that you had to sit up and look at Five to make sure he heard it too. Five was already looking at Klaus like he was the dumbest person in the world.
"God, I wonder how often you were dropped on your head as a baby."
"More like thrown into a wall," You joke, causing Five to let out a chuckle.
"Knowing our father, he probably was."
"You two aren't funny," Klaus complains.
"And you're an idiot. What's your point?" You remark, not taking him seriously at all.
"It was just a question."
"One so stupid, that Y/n and I are in agreement for once in our lives."
"How stupid do you have to be for that?"
Klaus groans, rolling his eyes, "You know what, it's not even that big of a deal. It doesn't matter. It's like when you argued with me about the world not being flat."
"You think that world's flat?" You asked, clearly taken a back.
Klaus rolls his eyes, shaking his head, as he lets out a chuckle, "Of course not."
"Oh yeah," Five says, laughing as he leans into it. "You should of been there, you would have loved it."
"God, I can't even imagine how that went down."
"Not well."
"Oh, so you two are now buddy buddy? Gross," Klaus looks away from you both. "You'll be back to fighting in like five minutes."
"With you around? I might actually start to like Five more than you."
"That bar can't be very high," Five jokes, causing you to high-five him.
"Not at all."
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jjkamochoso · 7 months ago
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Matchmaking Mina
Fluff
Soshiro Hoshina x gn!reader
Your kind-hearted captain has taken it upon herself to stoke the flames of love between you and Soshiro!
Warnings: none
Captain Mina Ashiro may act aloof, but she wasn’t blind. Anyone in the Third Division could see that you and Soshiro were the perfect match for each other. If neither of you were going to make the first move, it was only right that she, as your trusted leader, guided you in the right direction. Only, of course, after assessing the situation to make sure you two really did like one another.
*Click*
Her phone captured a snapshot of you at lunch one day, laughing at something Kafka had said. Your head was thrown back and your eyes were creased with joy—you looked positively radiant. Mina made her way to Soshiro’s office, eager to begin her investigation.
“Captain,” Soshiro saluted, “to what do i owe the pleasure?”
“Just stopping by. Checking on the status of your report from last week.”
“It’s almost done. I’ve been hard at work,” Soshiro grinned, sticking his pointer fingers out.
He’s in a pleasant mood. Let’s see if that changes.
“Good. I also came to show you a new picture of Bakko from the other day.”
It was a plausible excuse; Soshiro was a fan of cats as well and Mina was known for subjecting her friends and subordinates to monologues about how cute Bakko was. The vice captain was now standing by her side, peering over her shoulder at the phone in her hand.
“Here it is—oops! Wrong picture.”
Your picture was the one currently being displayed and from her peripheral vision, she saw Soshiro gulp ever so slightly, his eyes opened a bit wider. She was in no hurry, taking her time to slide her finger over the screen to the “correct” photo.
“Sorry about that. It was a cute photo, though, wasn’t it? Didn’t y/n look nice?”
“Huh? Yeah. I mean, sure,” he mumbled, the tips of his ears a rosy hue.
Now for the real test.
“I’d never seen her laugh so hard, but I guess that’s what happens when you’re around Kafka, right?”
There was an immediate shift of mood in the room, tension filling the open space like a dam had burst. Soshiro had gone from blushing to bloodthirsty in a millisecond and Mina was thankful she’d been blessed with a poker face or else she’d be bursting in laughter at his very apparent jealousy.
“If you’ll excuse me, Captain, I should finish this report.”
Soshiro saluted her again before sitting at his desk and Mina took her leave.
Well, that was informative.
Now she knew that Soshiro definitely harbored a crush for you and a hatred for Hibino. As she walked down the empty hallway, she let a small smile grace her lips.
She loved love.
Mina did the exact same experiment to you a few days later. As a fellow cat enthusiast, you were very excited at the prospect of seeing new Bakko content, quickly taking a seat next to your captain. This time around, she had managed to take an extremely flattering picture of Soshiro during training. He was standing outside, slightly flushed from the previous physical exertion, with one hand on his hip and the other pushing his hair out of his face.
Maybe if I ever retire I’ll become a photographer.
“…and there’s Bakko-oops. Not this.”
Your mouth was partially agape and she spied how you couldn’t tear your gaze away from the man on the screen. His tight fitting shirt hugged every curve of every muscle. His physique and pose were reminiscent of a model you’d see on a billboard in downtown Tokyo or on a runway in Paris.
“T-that’s a great picture you got of Vice Captain,” you breathed out in awe. “He looks so… hot.”
“If you’re into that sort of look, sure,” she answered.
“I definitely am,” you said dreamily, clearing your throat with embarrassment when you realized you said that out loud. “I mean, yeah. If someone was… hypothetically, like… into that sort of… thing.”
Mission 100% accomplished; they’re very much into each other.
Next up was the hard part of figuring out how to get confessions from the two of you without meddling too much. That’s why she was hoping today’s training, with you being partnered with Kafka, would be enough to stir up those same feelings and visceral reactions you both had while looking at the photos of each other not that long ago. So far, it was working splendidly. Kafka would say or do something ridiculous, causing you to howl with laughter and Soshiro to shoot Kafka a burning glare that could rival the intensity of a wildfire. Meanwhile, Soshiro would take his frustration out on the sparring training dummies, in turn leaving you dumbstruck at the way he moved so majestically and remained the most handsome man on earth, even in a state of sweaty exhaustion. When training was finally over, Mina couldn’t slow the buildup of anticipation deep inside her, eager to see the lovebirds admit their feelings, or at the very least, converse with each other. Neither of those things happened; you and Soshiro didn’t even exchange eye contact before going your separate ways.
Mina frowned. Didn’t she plant the seeds of attraction, water the foundations of a relationship, nurture the-
Looking back, I guess I didn’t do all that much.
“L/n.”
You turned around immediately at the sound of your captain’s voice, saluting as the dark haired woman approached you. You had just finished showering after a grueling day of exercise and were on your way to your room to get some much needed rest
“Come with me, please.”
“Right now?” you asked incredulously, eyes raking over the cat pajamas you were sporting. “Should I change into my uniform really quick?”
“No need,” she replied, “it’ll only be a moment:”
“Alright then.”
You were thoroughly confused but who were you to question your captain? You followed behind her dutifully, like a child following their mother to the kitchen for a glass of warm milk after a nightmare. Your eyebrows knit in confusion as she brought you into Soshiro’s office. He, too, had just showered, but he had changed into a fresh tracksuit, presumably because he never stopped working.
“Captain! What can I do for… you?” Soshiro faltered when he saw you peek out from behind Mina.
“I’m horribly underdressed for whatever’s happening. I sincerely apologize,” you said, bowing your head as to not meet his eyes. You weren’t that far below Soshiro’s rank, being a Platoon Leader, but you didn’t want your superior seeing you in such a state of disarray with your wet hair and casual attire in the office. Soshiro, on the other hand, didn’t seem to mind at all.
“Y/n! I didn’t see you back there at first. I like your pajamas, cats are always a good choice.” His fanged smile brought you a sense of comfort,
“Thank you.”
You two would’ve gotten lost in each other’s eyes if it weren’t for Mina reminding you she was still there.
“Let me explain what’s going on. Y/n, Soshiro likes you. Soshiro, y/n likes you.”
It was so silent you could hear a pin drop from across the base. You and Soshiro broke eye contact at breakneck speed, becoming self conscious and wary.
Mina was confused. Weird. Aren’t they supposed to kiss or something, like how it happens in books?
“I’ll leave you to it. Good night.”
Mina practically ran out of Soshiro’s office, getting hit with a whole slew of mixed emotions as she made her way to her own office. Was she wrong for getting involved in her subordinates’ love lives? Did she somehow misread the signals you both were giving off? Was her conclusion incorrect, leading her to be labeled a fool, unfit for a leadership position? She fretted all night thinking about the lack of response you and Soshiro had about the great news. The next morning, as she got ready, she thought of all the ways she could explain her behavior and hoped this situation wouldn’t lead to her getting fired (worst case scenario) or you and Soshiro feeling awkward around each other (bad case scenario). You two worked extremely well together, neutralizing kaiju with just glances and nods, no words needed, and she’d never forgive herself for ruining such a good team.
Mina fiddled with her jacket one last time before lifting her chin up and making the trek to her office to start the day. To her surprise, the door was ajar, you and Soshiro apparently waiting for her arrival.
Goodbye Third Division, hello HR…
“Captain,” you began, “Soshiro and I really appreciate what you were trying to do for us, but-”
“I overstepped my boundary,” she cut in. “I’m ashamed that I let my self control slip and I put my subordinates, the people in my care, in an uncomfortable position. I don’t know if I can ever regain your trust again, but I swear that I-”
“Captain.”
This time it was Soshiro who spoke out of turn. “My deepest apologies for interrupting you, but you don’t need to be sorry. Your intuition was correct—y/n and I do like each other.”
Mins could’ve cried tears of happiness hearing that, especially knowing that her job wasn’t at stake anymore, but her joy was turned to confusion when she noticed you and Soshiro share a glance, making a wordless agreement, and then both reaching into your shirts…?
She watched with curious eyes as a chain entered your grasp, previously hidden from view under your shirt, a small ring hanging down from it. Soshiro did the same, a matching ring gleaming under the fluorescent lights. It was then that the inquisitive, intelligent, intuitive captain made the connection—
“Soshiro and I are married,” you said, sheepishly glancing over at your husband. Now it was Mina’s turn to be deadly silent. However, you could tell she wasn’t upset, she was busy comprehending everything that was revealed to her.
“We didn’t tell anyone,” explained Soshiro, “because we didn’t want it to become an issue at work. In retrospect, we could’ve hidden it a bit better.”
He scoffed and folded his arms across his chest. “Though Kafka doesn’t ever seem to get the hint.”
“But we know we can trust you with our lives and we should’ve at least told you. I’m sorry for lying to you, Captain Ashiro,” you said, your head hanging low.
That’s when you heard the strangest sound.
Captain Mina Ashiro… was laughing?
“This was an interesting turn of events,” she eventually said, catching her breath. “It turns out I was correct, but not in the way I thought.”
She strutted over to her desk, sitting down and starting the computer. “If that’s all you had to report, then you’re dismissed. It’s time to go to work.”
She looked up one last time, quirking an eyebrow. “Or are you on your honeymoon?”
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the-dendrophile-bookdragon · 3 months ago
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Your Shame
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader
Warnings: Self-Doubt, Fluff, Angst, Smut, Aegon and his bad influence, Porn With Plot
Summary: Aegon taught his little brother to please a woman. Those memories are so ingrained in his mind he struggles to let go of those teachings.
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A/N: This work was inspired by this ask sent to the lovely @peachysunrise on Tumblr. Thank you so much for letting me use it.
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His betrothal to his beloved wife was a surprise to him. He thought he would have to marry a Baratheon. But this fate would befall Daeron, he was to marry a sweet flower from the Reach.
She was a beautiful maiden from House Fossoway of Cider Wall. As sweet as the apples they would get from their apple groves. And more beautiful than her small portrait he was given to have a face to the name. The painter should be thrown into the dungeon as he hadn’t captured her otherworldly beauty. And they said Targaryens had looked like the gods.
They both fell hard and fast. Shared pastime activities like reading about history or philosophy or indulging in a simple piece of lemon cake. Through his dear lady, he began to indulge in baked goods with apples. An apple pie with vanilla sauce was her favourite dessert. At their wedding, he had ordered it to be baked only for her.
He had fallen so hard and so fast in love with his Lady Apple, a nickname he had given her for her love of apples and because of her red cheeks whenever they saw each other, he nearly forgot about his duties in their first night. What would be expected of him and what he expect of himself.
He wanted to give her pleasure beyond her wildest imagination and the written words in romance books.
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He writhes above her as he drives into her over and over. The wet sounds of skin slapping against skin echoed through their marital chamber.
The bed creaked ominously as his hips rocked into hers. The headboard slammed against the stone wall.
He didn't know the act of procreating could feel so... fulfilling. So pleasurable. Anytime he lay with the madam it felt like a chore. He wanted it to end, fast. He preferred to lay in the woman's arms, his mind swirling with shame and disgust after the depraved act.
But with her, this sweet, gentle creature he had the privilege to call his wife, he needed to stay buried in her forever. To last beyond her fulfilment. Show her the depths of his love and devotion.
She had been scared at first, and he understood perfectly. How could she know what husbands and wives did in the night? She was a lady, she was pure. So, innocent.
But her anxiety was taken after he kissed her in the privacy of their chamber with the curtains around their bed drawn shut for more intimacy. They had stolen kisses before. Gods those kisses shared in dark corners of the castle or the safety of the library, they shouldn't be a sin but a worship of the gods.
But like all good things end fast. Too fast. Embarrassingly fast.
He tried to prolong their shared pleasure. His eyes wandered up to the mural of the burning of Harrenhal on his wall. Maybe he tried to draw strength to go on. But he felt it. It was too soon.
He looked down at her, seeing her wide, shiny eyes. Shame creeping up his neck. Spreading across his face.
As fast as he could, he pulled out. Seeing the evidence of his pleasure seep out of her.
Too soon, he had finished too soon.
This cunt, oh this velvet vice he lost himself in. The feeling of euphoria was replaced by shame.
He quickly got out of bed, pushing the curtains away to gather his clothes. Not exposing her naked body. Dressing himself and sprinting to his bed chamber. Tears of frustration gather in his good eye.
Blindly he stumbled to his chamber. Ripping the door open, letting it crash against the wall. It bounced back allowing Aemond to grip it and slam it shut. His vision was getting blurrier. He lost his orientation and footing. Crashing into the small table before he stumbled down on the carpet at the foot of his bed.
He was an embarrassment. Not able to last beyond five slow thrusts. Aegon told him it would disappoint a lady if he didn't finish her off first, or they would finish in union. That he was not a man if he ejaculated before he even brought his wife any ounce of pleasure. Like a lowly, old lord only in need of his wife’s womb. A boy wetting his sword for the first time.
In his despair, he didn't hear his wife's soft steps. He hadn’t seen her follow him. He only felt her warm embrace. How she pulled him against her soft bosom. How she held his head to her body and caressed his cheeks softly.
"Tell me what pains you, my love? Have I done something wrong?" Gods she thought she disappointed him. He wrapped his long arms around her waist and pulled himself even closer to her.
"No, ābrazȳrys. You were... phenomenal. I lost myself in you. Your softness, your warmth." He could feel the desire waking up again in his loins at the memory of their first encounter. But also, the shame. "I am sorry." He whined over and over into her bosom. His tears staining her nightdress and skin. His face was hidden from her eyes.
"For what, my heart? Please don't break." She gently cooed, kissing the crown of his head. Aemond’s heart clenched more at her plea.
"I disappointed you." He cried. "No, you -" "Yes, I emptied myself too fast. Like a... rutting hound." He angrily seethed. His anger on himself. Never at her, gods, he hoped she didn't see that.
She kissed his temple softly. His eye closed at her soothing touch. "You did not disappoint me. You could never. I am honoured that you lost yourself so completely in my body. Your pleasure was too great for you to prolong it."
He cuddled closer into her soft breasts as he lay on the floor. "It’s embarrassing." He mumbled like a small child. "It is sweet and very flattering for me." She countered.
He looked up at her with glassy eyes. "You mean it?" She nodded. "You do not know how many times you have made me come from simply watching you. It is especially hard for me to keep my composure seeing you train or you speaking in your mother tongue."
Her cheeks warmed slightly. His mood rose a bit. "I feel flattered." He whispered.
He suddenly sat up with feline agility. He stood before her, taking her in his arms and carrying her to his bed this time. "Let me make it up to you. You finally deserve fulfilment by my hand and not my actions." Her giggles made his aching cock grow impossibly hard.
He pounced onto her like a predator its prey. She squealed in delight. Her back hit the plush mattress with a thud. A huff escaped her throat.
She stares up at him with a soft smile and wide, shining eyes. Her joy was clear at his playful display of his desire.
He leaned down slowly. His hands held her down as she tried to meet him halfway. His signature half-smirk grew on his thin lips. He wanted to tease her. Prolong everything.
She groaned gently. Trying to escape his hold. But he was steadfast. Holding her down.
She held on to his neck. Her thumb traced the nape of his neck.
He had mercy on her when he saw her pout. Finally leaning down and connecting his lips to her warm, moist once. So soft, like rose petals.
He held her face in his large, calloused hand. His thumb traced her cheekbone softly.
Her legs opened to accommodate him, letting him lay himself onto her delicate body. She was his haven on earth.
He whined in disappointment when she leaned back. Their lips no longer connected. She smiled gently up at him, tracing his jaw with her pointer finger. “Would you like to try again?” She whispered so sweetly.
Little minx, he thought. His manhood coming to life once more. Painfully hard by her softness.
“Yes, my love. I want to make up for my… shortcomings.” His cheeks heated up a little. She giggled at his blush. “You fulfilled your duties.” She whispered. He groaned, “To the realm, not to you.”
He kissed her with more heat. His hands wandered all over her body. The fabric of her nightgown was in his way. He growled at the offending material.
He sat up slightly. Taking the neckline of her gown and ripping it in half. He was impatient, not able to undress her properly. He needed to see her soft body.
She gasped, her eyes wide in shock at his display of brutality.
He kissed down her neck. He peppered her neck and collarbones with open-mouthed kisses. Eliciting small gasps from his wife.
Her hands weaved into his hair when he nuzzled her beautiful round breasts. He smirked as she arched into his mouth when he licked and sucked at one of her nipples. His hand playing with the other so he wouldn’t neglect it.
She was a mess by the time he sank between her legs. Her desire leaked onto his sheets. “Aemond!” She mewled as he opened her legs wide, dipping his fingers into her dripping core to gather some of her wetness. Diving into her divine heat to show her he was devoted to her pleasure.
It was the hour of the owl when they let go of her. His face soaked in her juices. He looked down at her with a roguish smirk. His wife a panting mess. “Have I redeemed myself, my dear wife?”
She took small gasping breaths as she came down from her overwhelming heights. She didn’t answer him. She lost her ability to form coherent sentences an hour ago.
Like a predator he crawled back up her body, kissing every inch of her skin. Leaving a trail of love bites over her body. Marking her as his. “Are you ready for more, my sweet wife? I have been aching for you.”
A small noise escaped her throat, followed by a small nod. He grinned, aligning his manhood with her abused womanhood. He slowly sank in.
The same sensations washed over him. The warmth and softness of her velvet walls. The vice-like grip. The unmatched pleasure of sinking into her warmth. He groaned deeply. “My love, you make me useless. I could empty my balls right now.”
She smiled gently. Her hands found purchase on his shoulder and lower back. She blushed slightly at where her hands lay, guiding him in and out of her. “Then take it slow. Do not rush.” She whispered as she guided him to euphoria.
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luveline · 8 months ago
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Hi, if you have time and any interest, would you write bombshell!reader comforting Spencer after the Maeve arc? Like maybe she’s the only one he lets in, and she just holds him and lets him cry and puts him first.
Will totally understand if you’d rather not/don’t reply!
ty for requesting!! <3 —You come home from months away to find Spencer in love and grieving, so you do what you can. fem, 2k
You didn’t expect Spencer to fall in love while you were gone, but you can’t begrudge him. Not for having feelings for someone who isn’t you, and certainly not for losing her. 
You love him, and you’re his friend first. 
Your shoes make sharp but steady sounds on the stairs up to his apartment. His building is old but not rundown, lacquered wooden bannister smooth under your hand, his front door immaculate, though the hallway is busy with baskets. There’s ribbon and cellophane everywhere. It’s a sorry sight. 
You haven’t brought Spencer anything besides dinner. Unlike yourself, you take in the offerings of his friends and worry you aren’t as caring as you think you are. 
Not that he seems in the mood to accept it. 
You look down at your mary jane’s and wonder if you’re doing any of this stuff right. Spencer doesn’t even know you’re back in the country, let alone the state. Perhaps he has no interest in seeing you after this long apart, and after such a tragedy. Who wants to see their too flirty friend when they’ve just lost a real love? 
You hike the tote up your shoulder. In a chequered skirt and a simple white t-shirt, you’re underdressed. The pasta you’d made and hurriedly wrapped up burns your hip where the bag rests against you, and you have to make a choice now. Let it burn you, standing and staring morosely at Spencer’s door, or face rejection. 
You only need to hear his voice. He can leave your pasta out here on the floor if he likes. What’s important is that he’s still alive in there. 
You knock on the door. 
Nothing. Complete silence. 
Nudging aside a basket of dried fruits, you try again. A simple rat-tat-tat. 
“Hey, Spencer?” you ask too quietly. 
He won’t hear you through the door. Your voice might as well be a whisper if he’s in his bedroom with the door closed. 
“Spencer, are you okay, my love?” you ask, louder.
You wince at yourself. My love couldn’t be more raw. 
“Sweetheart, I’m just here to see if you’re okay,” you say, knocking again, before leaving your hand to rest on the door. You lean forward, forehead kissing dark wood. 
You can’t hear anything on the other side. 
“Spencer,” you say with a reluctant swallow, “if you’re home, can you tell me? You don’t have to let me in. Just come to the door.” 
Penelope said he hasn’t texted her back for days. Derek said he’d answered the phone once or twice, but beyond that he’s silent. You had a nightmare on the plane home that you’d come back to find him as he’s found his poor girl, or that he’d turn to old vices, or that he’d finally give up. He’s been strong through every horrible thing thrown his way, and now he’s all alone again—
The door opens slowly. You stand up straighter, your surprise a whack to the chest as your heartbeat picks up. 
Spencer stands at the door. He looks more tired than you’ve ever seen him, his dark circles bruised like wine stains under his eyes, even his eyelids red and sore looking. His lips are almost colourless, they're so chapped, and his pyjama pants have deep, deep wrinkles at the knees. 
“Hi,” you say. “Spencer, how are you?” 
His voice rings with disuse. “You’re here.” 
“Came straight home when they told me,” you say softly, honestly. “I knew I had to see you. To make sure you’re okay.” 
“I’m not okay.” 
“I know.” You don’t know if it’s okay to ask to come in, if he’ll close the door at the suggestion, so you don’t. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” You put weight in the wrong places, too much on I’m, not enough on so. “I can’t imagine it. I would never wish this for you, never.” 
“You were in Brazil.” 
“I was.” 
He must be tired of people asking if he’s okay, yet it wants to be asked. You bite it down, and instead offer what may be the key to getting in, or a quick dismissal. 
“I made dinner for you, angel,” you say. You choose the pet name more carefully. He used to call you angel to make you feel better. “It’s just pasta, I tried not to make it too heavy in case you're nauseous.” 
“I feel so sick,” he says. 
Spencer’s curse is that he probably knows why he feels sick, and he probably knows a hundred different remedies or medications or prayers to get rid of it, but nothing can get rid of this feeling. You can be the smartest man alive and you’ll never outfox grief. 
“Will you come in?” he asks.
You breathe a short, unbidden sigh of relief. He steps aside to let you in, and you gaze around at his shock of mess, books and blankets and furniture all in the wrong places, but it’s to be expected, and it doesn’t bother you beyond that empathetic hum of hurt tucked under your ribs. You approach his couch covered in books and put your tote bag atop them, turning to tell Spencer you’ll just quickly move these aside, and stopping dead when you see him. The door closed, his face pale, Spencer looks like everything is crumbling down around him. He looks horrified to have to watch, and he looks as sick as he’d confessed. 
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” you say, meaning it at its surface value. You’re sorry you were in a different country while he faced this alone. Beyond everything you’ve shared, you’re supposed to be his friend, and in a way you’ve let him down. “Please forgive me if you can, Spencer.” 
He nods tightly. 
“Let me move some of this stuff and we can sit down together, is that okay? Or do you need to go back to bed?” 
“It’s okay.” 
You do it without the grace his precious books deserve, lugging armfuls of them onto the floor, no time for tidying. You make spacious room for him and you, and your gesture gently for him to come and sit, fingers moving through the air slowly with the suggestion; he doesn’t have to listen if he doesn’t want to. 
What is it about you that Spencer would let you in before anyone else? That he’d sit and watch you until you sat down, that his shoulders relax ever so slightly when you settle, your thighs aligned? 
Maybe he needs someone who wasn’t there to watch it happen, and maybe you’re like family. You and Spencer may not be in love, but you love one another. Seeing him like this has you wishing you could fix it for him so keenly it’s like your hands are bruised. Pins and needles eat your fingers as you hold a hand to his elbow. 
“What can I do?” you ask, murmuring so as not to disturb the quiet room. 
“Nothing, I’m sorry. I don’t have anything for you to do, I just…” He squeezes his eyes closed. “I just wanted to see you. You’re the only person who– who–”
His voice lifts to a strangled high pitch as he covers his eyes with one hand. 
“Can I give you a hug?” you ask. 
He nods into his hand but doesn’t move. You have no qualms with making yourself big, wrapping him up, and guiding his hand away from his scrunched up face to hold you back. 
You’re pretty pristine with hugs, as they go. You’re a soft touch. So Spencer holds you tightly and you cradle the back of his head, aware that you’re not who he really wants to be hugging, but okay with it nonetheless. “I’m so sorry,” you say, mouth to the top of his head, your hand stroking with light touches against the nape of his neck. “Spencer, it’s not fair.” 
He starts shaking in your arms. 
“The only time I got to talk to her face to face was with a gun to her head,” he says, his eye hot where it’s squished to the bottom of your cheek. 
“Honey, you had something special,” you say, sort of guessing, because you had no idea Spencer was even talking to someone. Everything you know about the situation you learned from Hotch, but you can read from his level of distress how much she meant to him. “You don’t need to have been face to face to have shared something like that. Love is about connection, and I’m so sorry you don’t get to see her, but you– I’m sorry. You didn’t get all the time you deserved.” 
You’d been trying to say that it doesn’t matter if he saw her or not, that their relationship was just as real no matter what, but you know he’s not just mourning her, but the possibility of a life with her he won’t get now. 
“I tried everything I had to save her,” he says. 
“I know you did. Sometimes we can’t do anything. It’s not your fault.” 
He makes a low sound. He’s a quiet crier, sniffling and shaking against your neck. 
You love him. Finding out he had a girlfriend was like being stabbed in the chest, an instant sickness, but finding out that she died? To see him in this much pain cuts deeper than a split second of thinking he’d moved on. 
“You did everything you could. You did the best that you could. Spencer, you could’ve done everything right and she still wouldn’t have made it, because the world is cruel. This isn’t your fault.” 
“It’s always gonna be my fault,” he says. 
“No, it won’t be.” 
“It will! I’m like a curse, we all are.” 
You don’t know what to say. You consider offering placatives, but they’d be empty, and Spencer would know. Instead, you scratch a hand through his curls and try your best to be gentle. 
“Well, I’m here for you. I know you know you have a whole team of people who want to be there for you, but I mean it, Spence. You can tell me everything. I’m here for you and I’m not leaving again.” 
“You don’t have to go back?” 
“I’m staying here.” For as long as you need me goes unsaid. 
Spencer should rely on the kindness of all of his friends, and not just you. He needs love. Grief is going to eat him alive, just like it did with Emily; he’ll need everything from everyone, and, no offence to your friends and coworkers, you’re the most committed to giving it to him. 
“I never should’ve left,” you say quietly, “but things are different now. You’re my best friend, Dr. Reid.” Your tone turns more playful. “I don’t cook for just anybody, you know?” 
Maybe it’s a bit cringeworthy, but you really want him to stop crying. 
He laughs weakly and wetly into your collar. “I don’t think I can eat it. I just throw everything back up.” 
Aw, honey, you think. “How about a thin soup? I can make you something without any heavy creams. I make the best chicken soup around.” 
“Do you?” he asks. 
You want to kiss his cheek as you would’ve before you left, but things really are different now. You settle for patting his shoulder. “I do. We’ll have chicken soup, and some fresh bread, and– and you won’t have to pretend you aren’t miserable. Promise. You can be as sad as you want, honey, I just wanna sit with you and make sure it doesn’t get too much.” 
“Thank you,” he mumbles. 
“It’s okay.” You don’t want a thank you. “I’m glad to be home. Do you think you can get dressed? Let’s go get some stuff for dinner.” 
Spencer, to your relief, gets up to get changed without complaint. He checks you’re still on the couch a few times from the doorway of his room. You have no plans on straying far. 
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g1rld1ary · 3 months ago
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our names in the paper - footballer!james potter x fem!sports journalist!reader
wc: 11,151
cw: swearing, fade to black but suggestive moments?, smoking, slut-shaming, kissing
info: r and james are about 24, set in 2007ish solely for the romcom vibes. james is the equivalent of like David Beckham in his prime, all pics are for vibes only, not reflective of r's appearance etc
me: i've been working on this for soooo long i am so happy it's finally done!! if u couldn't tell it's very inspired by early 2000s romcoms and i am honestly so proud of it so praying it doesn't flop LOL
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"James, James! Over here! What's the defence strategy this season?"
If you had to hear James' name one more time you might scream. Unfortunately, you were locked in a room with nothing but that. Worse, you were part of the problem.
"Mister Potter, what do you think about your striker's goal-to-game ratio falling rapidly this season?" You called, begrudgingly hoping for a moment of the soccer star's attention. Fortunately (or unfortunately), his glittering eyes settled on you, singling you out from the room of hungry journalists.
"I think that you miss one hundred per cent of the shots you don't take," He said, smirk turning to something challenging, "And as long as my team is training and working together, I'm not gonna cry over a bit of spilt milk or missed goals. And, as far as I'm concerned we're still winning games, aren't we?" You rolled your eyes, scribbling down his answer nonetheless.
You continued the catfight of trying to get answers for your newest article, keeping the balance of vying for James' attention and showing him you didn't care for him personally, unlike the other journalists you were pushing against. The conference room was full of men and women who wanted to be James or be with him. Aside from the professional questions, there were certainly several invitations to the pub thrown around, and you were sure you saw one woman try and give him her cellphone number. You rolled your eyes again at that, James was nothing to fawn over.
He might be a big shot now, but you'd known him almost all your life. The two of you had gone to school together and had bickered through every interaction since then. James had always wanted to be a football star, and you a journalist. You'd never believed in him and vice versa, both of you taking every opportunity to tease the other or cut each other down. Maybe it was just clashing personalities, two people too ambitious to be friends. The rivalry had lasted past school, and unfortunately, the two of you often crossed paths in your respective careers.
The press conference wrapped up soon after your question, and you ended up lingering in the room trying to finish your notes. James was still over at his podium next to his coach, drinking out of a plastic water bottle and arduously texting on his flip phone. Seeing you hovering by the door he called your last name, sauntering up behind you. You rolled your eyes and braced yourself for the encounter.
"Potter." You smiled curtly, moving to leave.
"You don't have to call me 'Mr Potter' during the conferences, you know. James is perfectly fine, everyone else calls me that."
"Just trying to stay professional," You said through gritted teeth, aware his coach and a few others were still around you. It could cost you your job to snap at him.
"Was it professional when I was your first kiss?" He stepped closer and you instinctively stepped back, feeling the plaster wall graze your back through your work blazer.
"It was spin the bottle and we were twelve, it's ancient history. And do you mind? I know you're some kind of god around here but I have a reputation to uphold," You whispered, glancing around anxiously. James laughed at your distress which only annoyed you further. Maybe he could get away with anything, but you had to fight for your place in your field as a female sports journalist, you couldn't afford to take it lightly.
You couldn't help the physical reaction to being trapped between James and the wall though, your breathing shallow and quick, face tilted up slightly to look at him. You felt a bit like prey, caught in the predator's territory and resigned to imminent death.
"Let her go, will you? She's just doing her job," Remus Lupin said, entering the conference room with his nose crinkled from the smell. You couldn't blame him, sweaty players and hungry journalists didn't make any kind of utopia together.
"I wasn't doing anything!" James cried, hands up in surrender, "Come on love, I was just giving you the scoop, right?"
"First of all, if you were giving me 'the scoop' right now I'd certainly be accused of sleeping to the top by all the blokes waiting out there," You gestured to the group of other reporters still lingering in the hall waiting for any scraps of information, "And secondly, I work for the bloody Sunday People, not the BBC. I honestly think they'd rather I just write about your 'dashing good looks' or a drug scandal than your games," You complained, falling back into the ease of conversation now that Remus was there. He'd been at school with the both of you, growing up to be a physiotherapist, but was always much more palatable than James.
Both men laughed at your plight.
"If you ever need a more detailed look at my dashing good looks just ask, sweetheart. I'd be glad to show you, you know, for your articles." You rolled your eyes at James' attempt to be charming, snapping your notebook shut.
"Alright, I think that's my cue to go," You said curtly, smoothing out your work trousers. "Remus, I'll return Dracula next time I see you; I'm almost finished." You remembered you'd had his novel for quite a while, sparing him a smile on the way out.
"You lend her books?" James asked incredulously, hazel eyes curiously following your figure down the hall. Remus just shrugged, patting James on the shoulder and attending to his actual job, checking up on the players after the match.
James was still hung up on the fact when he returned to the apartment he shared with Remus and Sirius, flabbergasted as he hung his coat on the rack.
"Since when are you two close enough to be sharing books?" He cried as he paced through the kitchen, "Have we not all been in agreement that she is stubborn and hard-headed and annoying and has been since school?"
"No," Remus shook his head, "You decided that, and I daresay she feels the same about you. I've always rather liked her."
James was unexpectedly dumbfounded at the realisation that you weren’t the common enemy he thought you were. Even Sirius didn’t seem to dislike you, always stopping for a chat when you were around the stadium and giving you extra comments with a flirty wink.
James didn’t need to think about you for another few weeks; his team hadn’t played one week and you’d been assigned other matches for the others — he read your very amusing pieces on lawn bowls and chess-boxing, partly because he knew you’d hate the assignment.
You were blissfully apart until one Saturday night. You were out with your friends and a few coworkers and James was out with his. He’d started in the local pub while you were at a fancy cocktail restaurant for Lily’s bachelorette party, however, your groups crossed paths in the depths of a nightclub.
Maybe you were getting too old for them, waking up with sore backs and knees after nights of dancing, but it didn’t mean you wouldn’t give it a red hot go. And with a few cocktails in your system, nobody could convince you it wasn’t a good idea.
You'd been shaking what your mother gave you for the better part of an hour before it was your turn to get another round, telling the girls you'd be back before stumbling through a sea of sweaty bodies.
Some gross man who was definitely too old for you obstructed your path, grabbing your arms to make you dance with him. Your face crinkled in disgust of its own accord, trying to wiggle yourself free. He continued to encroach on your space, forcing you around despite your persistence. Finally, a man's hands landed on his shoulders, yanking him away and subsequently freeing you from his grasp. The momentum sent you tumbling in your strappy heels, right into something warm and solid. You cringed, having been there before. You turned slowly to meet your unwitting saviour, huffing when you realised it was James.
"Oh, fuck off," You grumbled, mostly to yourself, producing a quick apology to not seem totally impolite.
"Alright?" Sirius asked, revealing himself as the one who'd gotten you away from the creep. You shrugged, fixing your hair.
"Been better," You told him, preparing to leave before seemingly their whole team had surrounded you, all greeting you loudly. You weakly waved at them, feeling dreadfully underdressed and professional. You were used to seeing them in the stadium and press conferences where you were much more modestly dressed. The strapless mini dress wasn't giving you the same layer of protection.
"Right," You said when there didn't seem to be any more productive conversation happening, "I'm off to the bar then."
"Let me buy you a drink, to make up for the freak," One of the players, Frank, said. You smiled but shook your head.
"I'm buying for several, it wouldn't be fair. It's Lily's bachelorette." You directed the last sentence to those who knew her, the football and journalism professions having considerable overlap due to events and the never-ending scandals and interviews. James covered his face in mock-devastation.
"Not Lily! Have I missed my chance forever?" He moaned, earning some shoves from the rest of the group. You and Lily had been friends since uni, and you'd introduced her to the boys at one of the terrible house parties you'd endured over your three years studying. James had developed a thing for her right away (no one knew how much of it was serious and how much was for comedic value) and had been loudly pining for her ever since, despite her long-term relationship with Dirk Cresswell, an economist who worked in the building down the block from your office.
"I think you missed your chance the first time," You retorted with a snort, a little drunk to have any ferocity in your tone. You both made a face at each other, ignoring the laughter of those around you. You dismissed the group and danced away, shaking your arse over to the bar.
A few rounds later and you were not in your best shape. The girls had been absolute menaces, feeding you shots and deceiving colourful cocktails that actually held like seven standards in them, and you were certainly feeling the effects. You excused yourself from the group to find a loo, bile rising in your throat as you pushed past dancers, not even sparing a comment for James as you saw him.
That confused both James and his friends, becoming used to your insistent teasing over the years. He exchanged a look with Sirius, following you through the crowd and to the bathrooms.
He figured something was wrong when you burst into the gender-neutral bathrooms, not bothering to lock the door behind you. James and Sirius silently fought about who was going to follow you in and check on you; James found you insufferable, Sirius had severe emetophobia and would probably throw up himself if he had to be close to you vomiting. James rolled his eyes, it was his responsibility. Sirius clapped him on the back gratefully, leaving him to return to the others. James sighed, reciting some affirmations before he cracked the door open, calling out to you.
When you responded with a disgusting wretch, James slipped inside, gagging a little as he saw you leant over the toilet bowl, bare knees on the grimy tile floor.
"Alright?" He asked for lack of anything better, unsurprised when you replied with another gag.
"I feel ill," You said pathetically, head hung low in the bowl which James knew you would resent tomorrow. He laughed quietly, getting closer to you.
"No shit, idiot," His tone was light as he began to rub your back softly, making sure your hair was away from your mouth. You vomited a few more times, your body reacting in violent hurls as James tried to be both soothing and as far away as possible.
When your stomach was finally empty you slumped against the toilet, cheek pressed against the cool porcelain.
"Woah," James pulled you up to a sitting position, "That cannot be good for your skin. Let's get you home, okay?" You nodded petulantly, letting yourself be led out through the club, James telling Lily he'd make sure you got home (and congratulated her on the upcoming wedding).
"Can we get some gum or something? My throat tastes like vom." James looked down at you from where you were lodged into his side, legs shaky as you wobbled down the street. He sighed and steered you in the direction of a convenience store, picking out strawberry gum for you since it tasted better than mint, your words. Good you thought when he paid for it, the football star can shell out 2 pounds, makes more than you anyhow.
You chewed happily, stumbling down the pavement as James held onto you, keeping you upright.
"You're so muscly," You said, somewhat in a drunken haze.
"Thank you?" James laughed, patting you softly on the forearm he was holding. To be fair, you weren't quite sure if it was a compliment either. Your words were admittedly oddly nice but your tone made it confusing, drunk thoughts not completely translating to sober dynamics.
You meandered for a few oddly peaceful minutes, neither of you starting an argument or picking a fight. It was a nice break from normal, the two of you even sharing some peaceful small talk -- discussing a movie you'd both seen recently.
Of course, nothing good lasts.
"James!" A voice yelled from the other side of the street, a short man with mousy mannerisms. James groaned beside you.
"Peter Pettigrew," He whispered to you, trying to pull you along faster, "We used to be mates but turns out he was just using me to get team secrets out into the papers." You whipped your head around to look at him. Oh! You knew Pettigrew, unsurprising given you both reported on essentially the same topics, but he had a bad name even in your circles. He was closer to a paparazzi than a journalist, going for the cheap stories and ad hominem approaches rather than searching for any meaningful insights. Simply put, in an already sleazy career, Peter Pettigrew was the bottom of the barrel.
"Later, mate. I'm in the middle of something right now." James put his arm around your shoulder, better shielding you as he tried to make a getaway. The telltale flash of a camera reflected off the grey pavement, making both you and James whip your heads around to face Peter, looking hardly ashamed of himself. After a moment of shock, you both covered your faces, stumbling down the street as fast as you could manage. The damage was already done.
Suddenly you didn't feel as drunk, navigating the cobblestone streets with unanticipated nimbleness. James might've had the athlete's advantage but you were on home turf, leading him through local shortcuts and to the front door of your apartment building.
On the journey over you'd attracted a few more photographers all fiending for a scandalous picture of James, a small mob forming as you tried to punch in the door code despite your shaking hands. James was right behind you, front pressed to your back, holding his Adidas windbreaker out in a position to shield your face from the prying eyes.
You slammed the door shut, the nosy questions and camera clicks immediately muffled. James let out a long sigh, running a hand through his already tousled hair. Neither of you spoke for a while, processing what had happened.
"Make yourself at home then." You cringed as you surveyed the state of your flat; clothes flung over chairs and dishes still in the sink. Your only option for living alone was cramming all your stuff into what was essentially a shoebox, so any amount of mess made the place look chaotic.
"Nice place," James said and you immediately rolled your eyes, snatching up a stray bra strewn across an armchair. "No, I mean it! It's cozy. Very you." He gestured up at the colourful, mismatched glassware in a kitchen cabinet and the beaded curtain separating your bedroom. You blushed slightly; you didn't often take men home, your flat staying a girly paradise just for you.
You put on the kettle, comforted by the familiar sounds of water beginning to boil. James sat awkwardly on an armchair near the window, anxiously peeking out from behind the curtain every few minutes. His reactions told you the paparazzi were still loitering outside.
James took his tea gratefully, surprisingly still agreeable despite all the terrible things that had happened in the course of a few hours.
"Do you have a back exit or something? Somewhere I can slip out and get home?" You shook your head with a grimace.
"Only the fire exit, but that still goes out near the front. Otherwise we're surrounded by other buildings."
"You must be exhausted after everything. Head off to bed, I'll wait until the gits outside fuck off then lock the door behind me. We don't have to ever mention this again if you don't want." The orange lamp light made James' eyes look unfairly soft, highlighting the golden flecks amongst the brown. You steeled your nerve and shook your head.
"I'm not that bad of a host," You tried to joke, "Besides, don't you have training tomorrow? You're already up later than I'm sure you intended to be. I couldn't live with myself if I ruined England's star player by making him stay up all night, you take my bed and go to sleep." You were both very carefully trying to keep things light, not wanting to spend any more of the night miserable and fighting.
"Well, I'm not taking your bed, that's just impolite. I'll take the couch, if you're being so generous as to let me stay." He had a cheeky smile on his lips as he said it, both of you dancing around the fact that in any other circumstance James wouldn't have been allowed within fifteen feet of your flat.
"That couch? No way." You pointed at the teensy vintage sofa sitting in front of the boxy television. It had space for maybe two and a half arses to sit on it, maybe horizontally extended legs if you were short-ish, but there was no way the goliath James Potter was getting any decent sleep on it. "You take the bed. I'll survive the couch tonight."
"Don't be stupid, I can't sleep in your bed. If not the couch I'll take the floor."
"Speaking from a purely medical standpoint, I haven't cleaned these floors recently enough for it to be safe to have your face in such close proximity. Take the bed, Potter."
You bickered for a few long minutes, both of you trying to outdo each other's respect as host and guest, respectively. You didn't miss the irony that even when you and James were getting along you were fighting.
"I'm not letting you go without, that's final." You turned away to go fetch a pillow for your night on the couch when James said something you never ever thought you'd hear from him.
"Then sleep with me."
"Excuse me?" You all but shrieked, immediately cringing as you thought about your poor neighbours.
"Look, it's basically morning, we're both shattered and I'm sure your bed is much comfier than whatever alternative you're planning. We can even go full pillow-wall if it'll make you feel better." You stared at him for several moments, lips actually agape. Never in your life did you think James Potter would be asking you to share a bed with him, and never in your life did you think you'd be considering it.
"Fine."
Twenty minutes later and you were both ready for bed. You'd found James an old pair of an ex-boyfriend's long abandoned pyjamas, stuffed in a bottom drawer. They were slightly too small to accommodate all his muscles, the t-shirt sitting a few inches above the pants' waistband, giving him a very '90s crop top and exposing his happy trail.
You were almost definitely more embarrassed than James. You were in a similarly aged pair of pyjamas, a cartoon of Spongebob over your chest. You couldn't tell if you'd prefer to be in the lame pair that you were wearing or a cute pair -- no, it would probably look like you were trying too hard. Which you weren't. You didn't care about looking cute in front of James Potter, why would you?
He was already in bed when you'd returned from your skincare routine, face fresh and moisturised, and though you knew he was going to be there, nothing could have prepared you for the sight of James Potter in your bed. Tucked up to the chin under your frilly floral grandma sheets, he looked the picture of cozy.
"Don't bloody touch me, I mean it. I want to feel alone in my own bed," You snapped, sliding under the covers, pulling the doona similarly high up to your chin. You turned over to the centre of the bed to find James already on his side looking at you. You let it be for a moment, surprisingly enjoying the sleepover vibes you'd created.
"Okay this is weird now, the pillow's going up." You slammed a long decorative cushion in between the both of you, secretly smiling at the sleepy giggle James let out.
The first time you awoke it was hazy, still early in the morning with golden sunbeams streaming through your curtains. Warmth enveloped you, keeping you cozy despite the winter morning outside. You shifted to burrow deeper into your blankets when a groan came from behind you, startling you more awake as you recognised the feeling of muscular arms wrapped around your middle. It suddenly all came back to you, James walking you home, the paparazzi, you making an absolute fool of yourself. However, James was a portable heat source and extremely comfortable so you let yourself ignore everything that had led up to it, allowing yourself another few hours of blissful sleep.
The second time you woke up James was gone. That wasn't surprising given he definitely had early morning training, but you would reluctantly admit that it was a little lonelier in your bed than it usually was.
You didn't leave the house for the rest of the day, finally cleaning your apartment after much too long. Turns out all you needed was to be embarrassed in front of a guest to get you motivated.
Monday morning you weren't hungover anymore, but you were mourning the weekend that had passed much too quickly. Still, things were running smoothly enough; you didn't miss the tube and had snagged a seat, and your makeup was looking absolutely grand. You were absolutely thriving.
That was, until you crossed the threshold of the Sunday People offices and the jerks from the politics columns started bothering you, as if a Monday morning wasn't punishment enough.
"Meet anyone nice over the weekend, sweetheart?" One crowed from his desk chair, looking positively dickhead-ish in his too-small button-up.
"Or still on the clock maybe? We know you're always hunting for a good story." The combination of both remarks confused you, but you strutted past them with a quick glare in their general direction, your clicking heels producing enough attitude that you didn't need to say anything.
As you approached your own desk area, you had the distinct and uncomfortable feeling that everyone was looking at you. You couldn't think of why, but subtly wiped the edge of your lips in case it was foolishly smudged lipstick.
You even swore you heard one of the royal writers -- an awful woman maybe twenty years older than you -- say something about your 'promiscuity' and 'unprofessionalism'. You didn't know where it was coming from. You weren't friends by any means but you usually just stayed out of each other's way, you didn't throw around insults at your workplace. You glanced down at your outfit but nothing seemed especially revealing, the same button-up and pencil skirt you always wore if you weren't doing field work.
You were really starting to wonder why everyone was looking at you when even Lily was sending you pitiful glances. You had just made up your mind to say something about it when your boss came striding towards you, anger emanating in a way which only middle-aged men can do.
"What is this?" He slammed a Daily Mail tabloid down on your desk. The office was dead silent. You looked down at it, wholly confused as to what it could be -- your last article was approved without any troubles.
THE 'INSIDE' SCOOP? POTTER GETS COZY WITH REPORTER ON NIGHT OUT
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And there, right under the brazen headline, was the stupid picture that Peter Pettigrew took. The two of you out on the street, you tucked into James' side with his arm around you. Your face wasn't totally visible, but anyone who already knew you would recognise the figure and fashion.
You could feel your face drop as you read the article, a barrage of slut-shamey insults and reports of how intimate you and James were out on the streets of London -- all entirely false, of course. When you'd finished reading the piece the whole office was staring at you, waiting to see how you'd react.
"It's a lie," You said quietly, trying to stop your hands from shaking as they rested on your lap. There was a pregnant pause as your boss processed what you were saying, clearly confused. None of your coworkers dared to speak.
"Bullshit," He replied, face blooming red as he decided you weren't being truthful. "That's you and that's James, there's no denying that. The whole bloody country will be able to see you two getting cozy on the street. How do you reckon this reflects on me, having your name and workplace published alongside your completely unprofessional affair?"
"I understand that it looks bad, but it's not what you think at all. J- uh, Potter was just helping me get home after a chance encounter because I wasn't feeling well, then he hid at my place because of all the paparazzi. Nothing happened." It was a weak explanation, even you could tell, even though it was completely true.
The arseholes over in Politics were already sniggering to themselves and you wished you could have ripped them a new one. Instead, you were cowering underneath your brutish boss.
"It's your word against Pettigrew's, and only one of you's been printed. You've been publicly humiliated and we're getting bad press for it."
Your boss had left you with the threatening promise that the issue would be brought up with your superiors and the whispered opinions of every single person you worked with. You choked out an excuse to get out of the office, taking the lift up to the rooftop to cry.
You had peace for a few minutes, getting the most embarrassing of the sobs out alone.
"Did you actually sleep with him?" If it was anyone else you probably would have snapped, yelling at them for being so insensitive. Marlene said it with such earnest curiosity and sympathy that you turned to face her instead. You were met with her and Lily, your very best friends who you were feeling especially lucky to work with at that moment.
"No!" You told them the full story, about getting sick at the club, James just being polite and walking you home, and Peter Pettigrew's terrible betrayal. Both women listened attentively, taking it all in.
"I thought you hated Potter," Lily said finally, "How'd it get that far in the first place? Usually you'd have ditched him in the first five minutes of being in his presence."
"I don't hate him." You studied your hands intently, observing the peeling red nail polish you should have reapplied yesterday. "I think he's annoying and obnoxious and I've always hated that he's never believed I could be a serious writer, but I don't hate him. He has his moments. Besides, why would I waste energy on hating Potter when I could hate Pettigrew with all my heart?"
"What a snake," Marlene spat, lighting a cigarette as she got comfy next to you. You and Lily both nodded. Peter was not only now a backstabber, but he'd been becoming increasingly insufferable over the years you'd all been writing.
He started out quite nice and was in your periphery of friends in the same way Remus and even James were, but as he'd gotten the job at his shitty tabloid magazine he'd become downright intolerable, always twisting what you'd said both in official articles and when gossiping with other friends. You had all had enough a few years ago and stopped inviting him places. Clearly, he'd held onto the grudge.
At his own work, James was facing the same rumours, though not nearly to the same peril. As he rocked up to his home pitch for the morning training session he was received with catcalls and high fives which made him nervous. No one was ever that happy to be working out on a Monday morning.
"Thought you hated her, mate."
"Maybe all she needed was a good shag to get the stick out of her arse."
"Woah! Can we take it back a few steps and not talk about women that way?" James sent a look over to one of his teammates.
"Sorry bud," He held his hands up in surrender, "Thought you wouldn't mind since you're always moaning about her." James' eyebrows knit together as he tried to piece together what the men were talking about, finally giving up and asking for a plain explanation.
He was met with a copy of Peter's article, outlining the flirty touches and 'electric chemistry' the two of you shared. Scanning it quickly James felt his face screwing up in disgust. Never mind that it obviously wasn't true, what a disgusting violation of privacy. He'd only recently launched into the spotlight, working his way up into the Premier League and then team captain in the last few years. He still didn't know how to handle the fame, especially invasive press like this.
His first priority was setting the ruth straight for his team, explaining exactly what happened and outlining strict instructions not to bring it up the next time they saw you.
"This is going to be a lot worse for her than me," He said, ending the conversation there.
He was correct. Rumours only spiralled from Peter's article. You'd stupidly created Google Alerts for your name; as a journalist, it made sense to keep track of where your writing was being shared. One day of this nonsense and you had all alerts silenced, not wanting to ever visit the internet ever again.
Apparently, this alleged affair was the most interesting thing young British people had ever experienced. The football star and the sports journalist. As you packed up to leave at the end of the day you were feeling sick to your stomach, already overwhelmed by the attention you never wanted on you.
Your face blanched as you approached the dizzying glass windows, a mass of reporters swarming the door. You didn't have to think hard to know they were waiting for you. You retreated to the restroom where they couldn't see you to rearrange your exit appearance. Pulling your coat tight against you and scarf up to cover the bottom half of your face, you plugged your iPod nano in to appear busy (and touched up your eye makeup for the inevitable photos that would make it back into the news cycle).
Physically and emotionally prepared you braved the crowd again, moving through with a polite but firm shove, making yourself a path down to the tube. You only snapped at one particularly rude paparazzi, giving him an instruction of where to 'stick it' as you hopped down the stairs to your station.
You ate a haphazard dinner by your computer, obsessively clicking through the various articles (and now personal blog posts) that had mentioned you. Every link made you feel worse about yourself.
The articles themselves were bad, most of them degrading you and congratulating James. Some had even produced old school photos of the both of you, even a few from your uni days when James was just starting out professionally and you were attending similar parties.
The articles were one thing, at least they usually had to be somewhat impartial. The blog posts by James' fangirls were downright cruel, calling you a slag based on a singular photograph and dragging your name through the mud.
You were drawn from your doom-scrolling by your cellphone ringing, Britney ringtone at least drawing a smile from you.
"Hello?"
"Get off the internet," Sirius Black said from the other end of the line.
"How'd you know?" You exited the webpage dutifully, already feeling the weight of the world's ugly words lifting from your shoulders.
"I figured. First time being written about isn't easy."
"It's certainly making me grateful I've never been so bitchy in my articles," You produced a hollow laugh, "I don't know how people can say these things about someone they've never met."
"That's why we like you," He said, "Mostly, at least. You stick to the sport and not our personal lives."
"Don't inflate my ego, Black, it's just because I don't like you guys," You joked, your mood already blooming back to somewhat more chipper.
"That's what I've been telling him!" You heard Remus call from further away, probably the other side of their living room. Sirius made an offended noise.
"Is Potter there?" You changed the topic, swirling your mouse around the window aimlessly, too afraid to check your work or personal notifications.
"He's out right now, calling someone official -- a publicist or lawyer friend. He's tearing his hair out about this, he feels awful for you." Both men explained, bickering about who exactly he was talking to.
"Yeah, I'm noticing only one of us is getting called a slut." You rolled your eyes even though they couldn't see you, balancing your cell between your shoulder and ear as you made a cup of tea. Sirius' barking laughter crackled through the speaker.
"Don't worry about it, love, everyone knows The Daily Mail is full of shite. Besides, I got that all the time."
"Yeah, in school! Not when you have a grown-up job to save face at!" Sirius conceded, apologising lightly. You shrugged him off; he was not the target of your anger at all.
"James'll be back soon, do you want to stay on the phone?" Remus asked and you answered without hesitation.
"No. I don't want to talk to him right now. We'll just find something to fight about, it's not worth it."
"He wants to make things better," Sirius offered, "He feels terrible."
"Maybe when I'm not so angry at the world." You left them with the offered compromise, hanging up to pity yourself for a few more hours before bed.
You didn't end up being fired over the incident, your bosses couldn't find a good reason to cite, but everyone in the office knew you were on thin ice. Most weren't afraid to highlight that fact. You were really starting to hate the Politics guys.
You just tried to keep your head down, diving into your articles and trying to keep in the higher-ups good graces. Amidst the drama though you'd been taken off all football coverage for the time being, banished to the irrelevant 'sports' you never even knew existed.
The week had taken you out of London to cover bizarre rural events like cheese rolling and bog snorkelling; not uninteresting but a big change of pace to the Premier League drama you were used to.
It did take your mind off of James and the media shitstorm for a day or two though. Being in a small town was much preferable to London, at least for the moment. The paparazzi weren't going to make the drive to find you for a single day when there were plenty more interesting figures to find in the city.
Plus, you were meeting the most interesting people. Though it was no Premier League final, everyone around was so wholly invested and excited by the competition that you couldn't help feeling the same, despite your initial hesitation.
Throughout the day it was just you, your notepad, your camera and the few thousand people who came to participate and observe. You'd already met and interviewed the woman who made the cheese, the previous year's winner and you were waiting impatiently to see who'd prevail now.
The paper was paying for you to stay overnight so you could chronicle the post-event celebrations, and you'd never been so glad to be working late. The key players in the day, organisers and competitors had all convened in the town's old pub, basically heaving under the weight of you all.
You held up your beer with the others despite hating the taste, grateful to be included in their toast to the day. You laughed as you tried to down it quickly, wanting the taste out of your mouth as soon as possible without refusing such a kind gift. Holding the pint up in the air victoriously you accepted the cheers of those around you, including the lovely middle-aged lady who made the ceremonial cheese and the man only a year or two older than you who'd won earlier.
"Finally letting your hair down!" He laughed and you smiled back, trying to remember his name. A glance down at your notepad said Drew. "Can I get you another?" You hoped he didn't notice your eyes widen, not expecting attention like that, not when you were allegedly working no less. You opened your mouth to agree when someone else answered for you.
"She doesn't like beer, thinks it tastes like piss." You whipped your neck around at the familiar voice, mouth dropping open at the sight of James Potter.
"What the hell are you doing here?" You asked, jovial politeness abandoned.
"You didn't remember that my family comes to watch every year?"
"Respectfully, why the fuck would I remember something like that?" You snapped, moving to leave and follow the much nicer Drew to the bar. James grabbed your hand lightly, stopping you from leaving.
"Wait, can we talk please?" You just looked at him for a long time, considering how much patience you had after a full day of work, then shrugged half-heartedly.
He led you outside and away from the crowd, both of you letting out a huff as you noticed the change in temperature.
"I liked your story on the bog snorkelling -- interesting stuff," James broke the awkward silence and you rolled your eyes aggressively.
"As if you read my pieces."
"I do!" He insisted, silently refusing the cigarette you offered. "I've read all your pieces, honest."
"But... huh? You're the one who always said I'd be a shit writer, I've spent years trying to get the negative internal James out of my head! You absolute dickhead!" You shoved his chest, turning back towards the door to return inside.
"Are you thick? I only said that because I fancied you!"
James' words rang heavy in the air, the street otherwise silent. You stared straight ahead of you for a moment, his words settling on top of you as you focused on the orange street lamp.
This whole time, this whole time, you'd been fighting the image you believed James had of you, striving to be better, never being satisfied, for nothing. This whole time you and James had been bickering and trading insults for nothing? And all his flirting... James' annoying charm and ironic compliments and innuendo-filled teasing were all genuine, after all this time? Suddenly your whole world had turned on its axis.
"What do you mean you said it because you fancied me? That is not normal!" You whirled around, accusatory finger pointed his way.
"I don't know! I thought I was supposed to! It wasn't cool to be a sap!" James argued back, running a hand through his already tousled curls.
"Jesus Christ," You muttered, "So what, you thought all my arguing back was just flirting?" James' silence told you all you needed to know.
"Come on, don't act like you didn't like it a little bit! As I recall you were always up for the fight, weren't you? You never avoided me or ignored me. Let's face it, you enjoyed it as much as I did." He stepped closer to you, breath visible in the cool air.
"I didn't enjoy it, what the hell are you talking about? Why would I enjoy trading schoolyard insults with some arrogant, idiotic football player who discredited the one thing I wanted most in my life?" Suddenly you were inches apart, heat emanating from both of you as you fought.
"Like you never said I was stupid for wanting to be a footballer? Face it, love, you're just as bad as me."
And suddenly, despite all your better judgement and every bit of sense in your head, you were kissing him. You didn't know exactly how it had happened, and if anyone were to ever ask you you would absolutely pin the blame on James but there you were, out in the middle of the street without a care in the world.
Every one of your senses was on fire, the smell of his cologne, the taste of his lips, the feeling of his soft curls under your fingers. Everything about James felt like he was made for you, like all the years of you revolving around each other, playing off the other's insult was just a lead-up, preparation for the very moment you kissed for the first time.
James' arms around you were warm, strong from years of working out and protective like a weighted blanket. One hand wrapped around your midsection and the other firmly on your neck you felt wholly surrounded by him, isolated in your own bubble of James.
It was probably a bad idea, but you weren't overly concerned with addressing that fact in any rush. It didn't come as you tilted your head to bring him even closer, it didn't come as you said hurried goodbyes in the pub and collected your coat, it didn't even come as you closed the door to your hotel room, undoing the buttons to James' shirt like they had a personal vendetta against you.
The admittance only came as you lay entangled with him, faces millimetres apart.
"Was that a bad idea?" You asked, genuine self-consciousness mixing with pragmatic anxiety.
"I mean, I quite enjoyed myself, love. Did you not?" James' cheeky smile made you snort out a giggle but you sobered up quickly, hitting him lightly on his toned chest.
"Don't turn this into a joke!" You ordered, "Have we just fucked everything up?" James just looked at you for a minute, taking in the sincerity in your voice and the depth of your eyes.
"Of course we haven't," He assured you. "Do you like me?"
"But--"
"Ah! Do you like me?" He reiterated and you paused, nodding shyly. "See? You like me and I like you. We'll figure everything else out. Start slow; baby steps."
"Baby steps," You agreed, sharing his smile. It really only hit you how much you actually liked James once you'd said it, finally noticing how he might've been looking at you the whole time.
You sent James off early in the morning, both of you needing to make it back to London quickly. You had to get your article written up and James had training. Thankfully there was no awkwardness in your goodbye; James had to rush to meet his parents to drive back by car and you had a train to catch. The only moment of hesitance came as you said goodbye, waving at each other with a giggle as James hopped down the steps. He hesitated halfway, turning to look at you with the glint of mischief in his eye that you'd become very well acquainted with.
In a moment he was at the top of the steps again, swooping in to steal another kiss. You rolled your eyes to hide an embarrassing smile, pushing him back in the direction he came.
"Haven't you got somewhere to be?" You asked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. James mimed twisting a knife in his chest but continued down the stairs nonetheless, giving you one last smile before he turned a corner and disappeared from your sight. You sighed like a schoolgirl then laughed at yourself, packing the last of your things to get home.
As you sat on the train, green landscapes passed you through the window and you felt your cell phone buzz from the minuscule pocket of your work trousers.
thinking of u :P <3
You grinned, looking out at the scenery so the people around you wouldn't be able to figure out your embarrassing secret. You felt like a teenage girl again, blushing over a text from the guy you had a crush on.
Everything turned to shit in a matter of hours after returning to London.
First, James' publicist made his statement. It wasn't necessarily terrible, but it really had no regard for you. No statement declaring you both on good terms, no coming to your defence or asking for the press to respect you. James looked like the hero saving a stupid drunk girl, and you still looked desperate for the most popular footballer in the country. You were decently sure it wasn't James' fault, but it did significantly dampen your lovesick giddiness.
The office was half-empty when you arrived, kitten heels clicking against the ground. You said a quick hello to Lily, still dutifully typing away at her computer. You followed her lead, exporting your notes to your desktop computer, formatting the piece and going through edits to have it ready for the next paper.
The sun was setting, sending orange and pink streaks through the sky when the door to your boss' office slammed open, echoing above the cubicles.
"You kissed him?" He yelled and you paled, knowing exactly what he was talking about but not how he knew. That problem was solved when he slammed the magazine down in front of you, no doubt just delivered by the skittery young receptionist running back to the elevator.
FACT OR FICTION? POTTER AND REPORTER CAUGHT SNOGGING AMIDST PUBLIC DENIAL
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Fuck. That could not be worse.
The whole piece was essentially dragging your name through the absolute mud now that they had the confirmation there was something going on between you and James. The whole world thought you were sleeping to the top, or for the best scoop, and everyone hated you for it.
You looked up at your boss, words dying on your tongue.
"Please tell me that's not you," He said, grasping at the thinning hair on his head. You couldn't deny it.
"I..." You trailed off, searching for anything you could say to make it better. "I didn't mean to. And I'm being completely honest when I say that the first article was all bullshit. Things have... happened since then." You were already on the verge of tears. Even on an optimistic day, you couldn't have denied that this was utterly shit.
"Jesus." Your boss muttered, beginning to pace. "Look, I like you, you know? You do good work and you're never outta line, but I reckon the higher-ups are gonna be done with you. They wanted you out over the first article but I convinced them it was all speculation. This is proof and makes us all look bad that you're sleeping with someone you interview every other bloody week. Look, I'll do what I can in damage control, but I'd be bringing your stuff home tonight. I'm sorry."
How could he have just left you with that absolute bombshell? Effectively firing you, just like that? The tears had made their way up to your waterline, sitting there mocking you as you refused to let them fall. You submitted your piece and shut off your laptop, angrily stuffing your sparse personal decorations into your shoulder bag to get the fuck out of the building as fast as possible.
The paparazzi were waiting again, of course, like that was what you really needed. You pushed past them, making sure to land an extra hard stomp on Peter's foot, lips twitching into the beginnings of a smile as you heard him curse.
You sat on the tube, staring intently at your feet and trying desperately to think of anything but your current situation. You'd already been approached by someone who'd coughed out "Skank," which really hadn't done anything for your sour mood. All you wanted was to crawl into your bed and never emerge.
You wandered down the street between the metro station and your flat, hands shoved deep in your coat pockets.
"Hey!" Someone called and you glanced over on instinct, senses drawn by the interruption of an otherwise quiet evening. "You're the girl who kissed James Potter, yeah?" It was a girl still in her school uniform, probably sixteen or seventeen. You thought through your options quickly and shrugged.
"Yeah, I guess."
"Wicked. How was it?" She asked, chewing on pink gum. There was an aura about her that you liked, not judgemental like everyone else you'd met. If you were still in school you thought you might've been friends with her.
"Pretty good, I'd do it again." A cheeky almost-joke between the two of you, ironic given the shit that it had caused for you.
"We were talking about it at school. Pretty shit how they've treated you. Like they all wouldn't jump at a chance to get close to 'im." You liked the way that she didn't get any closer. Just the two of you standing face to face, divided by the empty road.
"Exactly what I've been saying," You agreed, tucking your hair behind your ears.
"If it was the other way around, if you were the famous one, James would be getting congratulated for getting with you, not ridiculed by the mindless gossip columns. All my friends think it's utter bullshit, stopped buyin' 'em and everything." You could have kissed her if that wasn't tremendously creepy. In five minutes, this schoolgirl had vindicated everything you'd been saying for the past week in a way no one else had.
"Thank you," You said, with more sincerity than you probably should have had for a complete stranger. The girl just shrugged with a smile, nodding before continuing down the street, the sound of her leather school shoes growing quieter with every step.
You felt it in your whole body every time you thought of the interaction for the next few hours, warmth spreading through your chest as you were reminded there were still good people around.
Your other reminder of that fact came with the sound of your buzzer, the laughing of Lily and Marlene echoing off the stone of your building. As you let them in curiously they presented armfuls of takeout, the smell of Chinese food immediately floating through your flat.
Lily took the responsibility of setting out the food while Marlene took control of your little television, flipping between channels until she found a suitable romcom starting.
You didn't speak about what had happened, no one mentioned James Potter or the bloody Sunday People. Yet, there was an air of tenderness that let you know the girls knew exactly what was happening and how you were feeling about it.
Still, there was something bothering you. You couldn't give it a name immediately, only a tugging in your stomach while the girls were entertaining you, but persistent nonetheless.
It wasn't until you were all crammed into your bed, the other two peacefully asleep, that you could identify the sensation. It was an overwhelming desire, a need to write that you hadn't felt in ages. It was the same feeling that had pushed you to be a journalist in the first place, an inspiration you typically only felt watching a magical soccer final.
You crept out of your bedroom, switching on your computer at the kitchen table, squinting at the aggressive blue light. And when a blank Word document appeared before you, you started writing. Obsessively, feverishly, words poured out of you at a rate that hadn't happened since you'd started at Sunday People.
The words of the school girl fresh in your mind, you started an article vastly different from your usual kind. Instead of strategies and highlights you dissected your own experience of the past week, saying everything you hadn't let yourself unload to the paparazzi outside your office (though with fewer curse words than they would have received). It could have been minutes or hours that you were writing and you wouldn't have noticed, eyes glued on the screen in front of you.
You didn't realise you'd fallen asleep until Lily woke you gently with a hand on your shoulder, offering a steaming mug of tea. It was light outside, the world already up and awake. You were glad it was a weekend as the girls didn't need to rush off to work, cooking a simple breakfast for you all to share.
"What've you written?" Marlene asked, the second part of her sentence unnecessary: since you don't have a job to write for. You shrugged, taking a bite of some eggs.
"Just something I had to get off my chest. Might see if I can sell it to someone to tide me over 'til I figure out what I'm doing with my life."
"Can we read?" You made a 'go ahead' gesture, the computer already open to the screen.
A WOMAN'S UNWILLING WEEK IN THE PUBLIC EYE:
How a woman always loses.
You sat in mild discomfort as Lily and Marlene read your piece in silence, anxiously awaiting their reactions. They weren't what you were expecting.
When they turned back to face you, Lily had tears in her eyes, red tones brought out in her skin. Even Marlene looked uncharacteristically moved, not at all the reaction you were expecting. Firstly, it was completely unedited so you suspected it was somewhat of a mess from your midnight haze. Secondly, it was more of a vent than anything, getting your hatred for invasive paparazzi off your chest. You thought you'd all laugh about it then move on with your days.
"Lils, what's wrong?" You didn't mean to laugh, it was more out of surprise than anything else.
"It's just, it's so raw and real. It's so unfair," She sniffled, wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her sweater.
"Jesus, you don't have to cry," You said lightly, "I'm fine! I hated that bloody place anyway."
"That's not the point," Marlene pointed out, "And Lily's right, this is really confronting stuff. It's great."
"Thanks," You mumbled, studying a lamp for something to do.
"Can we talk about James?" Your head snapped back to look at her.
"What about him?"
"Clearly there's been some... developments in your relationship, which we don't have to talk about--"
"Yet," Marlene interrupted.
"The point is that it looks like there's feelings involved now. What are you doing about them? Because if you publish that, it's putting everything out there, and even I can't tell how you feel about James right now," Lily finished.
"I don't want to talk to him," You said quickly, "I know it's not his fault but I can't think about him without getting mad. It's like I wrote; he ends up fine while I lose my job over one kiss."
"Understandable," Marlene nodded, "But if I know James at all, he'll be going crazy every minute that you ignore him."
You had much to consider when the girls left. The state of your career, your feelings for James, everything felt too big and overwhelming to make any decisions about. So, you took a nap.
The rest of your weekend was spent sending your then-edited article to as many newspapers and blogs as you could and hiding out in your flat, dodging James' calls.
Unfortunately, you liked him. You'd figured out that much. More unfortunately, he hadn't done anything to help you out in all this mess, benefiting from the press in a way that only England's favourite footballer could.
On Monday morning your piece was published. Not the biggest or most reputable newspaper, if your name hadn't still been trending it probably would have gone largely noticed. Instead, it blew up.
It had mixed reviews, of course, a tell-all so blatantly feminist would always attract its haters, but you were floored by the support it was receiving. Women were validating your experiences in a way you hadn't expected even a few days ago. It made you not so scared to leave the house anymore.
On Tuesday morning, Remus called you. You had the thought that it might have been James calling to grovel on Remus' phone, but you thought it was a smart enough idea you'd indulge anyway. If it was Sirius you wouldn't have picked up.
Instead, it was actually Remus.
"Come to the media room this afternoon," He said, evidently not wasting time with pleasantries.
"What?" You asked, caught off-guard.
"Just do it. Two o'clock."
"Remus, you know I don't have a job anymore, right?"
"Come off it, you know anyone on the team would let you in. You've got quite a name for yourself," He chanced a joke and you rolled your eyes.
"What, whore?" You retorted, only a little worried it would be true.
"I'm hanging up," Was all he said before the line went dead. You huffed, snapping your phone closed with all the attitude of a spoiled private schoolgirl.
Yet, at two o'clock you were standing in front of the media room at James' team's stadium, questioning all of your life choices.
The room seemingly went silent when you entered, dozens of pairs of eyes staring you down as you nervously stuck to the wall. You felt the derogatory, leering stares from all the sleazy men who'd been accusing you of sleeping with players since you first started in the field. It made you want to drop dead.
James made his way to the lectern up the front of the room with a cough, quieting down the chaos.
"Afternoon, everyone. I'm sure you're all wondering why I've called you here, I've got some things I'd like to address.
"As you all well know, I've been a frequent face in the papers lately, and not for my brilliant playing as it usually is. I recently got followed down a street after a night out looking after an old friend who happened to be a colleague of yours. Now I know that my godly good looks lead you to believe that I don't feel the same as all of you, but I do. And I'd like you all to consider how you'd feel if a man with a camera followed you all the way home after you'd been out for a night with your friends and a few cheeky drinks. It's pretty invasive if you can't imagine.
"Now, all this press hasn't really affected me. However, my dear friend has been subject to misogynistic articles, slut-shaming and harassment all because we were seen out together and a few hateful words from someone I used to consider a mate." You had no idea where this was going, but you were absolutely fascinated. James was more well-spoken, more mature and solemn than you'd ever seen him, though he still had his audience in the palm of his hand with his casual jokes. It was a masterclass in public speaking.
"If you haven't read any of my friend's pieces I would highly recommend them; she's got a brilliant voice and I personally read everything she publishes. However, I'm not here to talk about her work; I'd actually like to talk about her if you all don't mind."
What the hell was happening?
"In the midst of all these articles over the last week, I know you've all seen various pictures of us, including from secondary school. A few come to my mind, our graduation picture is a highlight, but I'd really like to talk about this one." James brandished a printed-out photo you recognised instantly.
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"This photo was taken when we were twelve or thirteen years old at someone's party. That night, as you tend to do when you're young and bored, we played spin the bottle and ended up being each other's first kiss. I'm sure you're all wondering why I'm telling this story now, and it's because ever since that night as I have recently realised, almost a decade later, I have been embarrassingly, stupidly in love with her."
Your life wasn't real, it absolutely could not be.
"And though I've done some incredibly dumb things over the years, somehow she's managed to like me back -- at least a little. So I'm setting the record straight right now, she is not 'sleeping to the top' or trying to get a secret scoop out of me because I'm the one who's been chasing after her for twelve years.
"I know I've been rambling on for far too long so I'll wrap it up here, but I just wanted to end this little conference with a warning that if I see any more disgusting, hateful articles about her, you won't be getting another comment from me again. So nice to see you all!"
The room started to trickle out but you were stuck to your spot against the wall, frozen in absolute shock. You hardly even noticed the dirty looks you got from some of the people you'd been working alongside for years.
You spotted James in another corner, drinking out of a plastic water bottle and messing with his hair. A nervous tell.
The room was almost completely empty when you approached him, heels muffled by the carpeted floor.
"Hey stranger," You said softly, feeling way out of your depth. He turned in an instant, smile lighting up his face then melting away as it was replaced with an insecure frown.
"Was that okay? I didn't want to embarrass you but I wanted to step up and do something and protect you and--"
"Have you really loved me since we were twelve?" You cut him off bluntly.
"Every day since, as I've figured out," He agreed with a slight nod, glasses slipping down his nose slightly.
"What about all the flirting with Lily? The other girls over the years?"
"So obviously fake. Distractions. It's never been anyone but you, love."
You could only stare at him for a moment, your whole world shifting beneath your feet. James' face became increasingly worried, brow furrowing more the longer you remained unresponsive.
"If you don't feel the same that's totally alright, I still stand by what I did and I don't want you being harassed for--"
You'd always thought that cutting someone off with a kiss was ridiculously cheesy, reserved for shitty Hallmark movies with grown-up child actors who never got their big break. Turns out though, when you realise that your girlish crush on the star footballer has actually been a complicated love of twelve years, you don't really want to waste any more time.
When you woke up on Wednesday morning with James next to you, body heat keeping you cozy, you were convinced you had to be dreaming. When you eventually got up to check your emails and start your day the hypothesis was only solidified by the impossible email waiting in your inbox.
The fucking BBC wanted to hire you as a football commentator and sports writer. Your dream job at your dream company. If you let out an embarrassing squeal then that was none of your business.
You were still convinced you were hallucinating the whole thing until James came in with his biggest smile and that look in his eyes that told you he probably had a hand in getting your name on the BBC desks.
Even a few weeks ago you would have been mad at him, assuming it was mocking or he had ulterior motives. But it wasn't a few weeks ago anymore, and James Potter's whole, endless heart belonged to you. You weren't letting that go anytime soon.
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yoitsjay · 1 month ago
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not to be a fucking freak but last kinky ask got me going crazyy. i have huge daddy issues/daddy kink and all i can imagine is jason (hell maybe even dick or bruce) but esp after jays blurb (HAVING ME GO FERALL) is him just having your back to his chest arching as he uses his arms to flex and put you in a chokehold with two or three of his fingers in your drooling mouth while he just absolutely POUNDS up into you from behind, whispering just the nastiest shit ever. the choking goes both ways i think, tbh. maybe if he’s real mean he either is holding or even just tied a vibrator to you or in your other hole… sigh..
I got you babes
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Release
Summary: long night on patrol, even longer night in bed.
Warnings: rough sex, anal, daddy kink, spit, drool, choking with fingers, vibrator, overstim.
A/n: this one's a bit short cuz it's porn without plot so- your welcome!
plap! plap! plap!
“That's it babygirl, scream daddy’s name”
Maybe it had been a long night. Jason had been texting you periodically through the night to let you know when he should be home, and to not wait for him if you were tired… But then his texts started getting slower, and you could tell patrol was getting more and more frustrating for him.
You wanted to wait for him, though that might've been a mistake…
well, now you definitely didn't think so… but in the morning you would definitely wish you had just gone to bed.
Sweat and spit dripped down your body as Jason pressed up into you from behind, one muscular arm wrapped around the back of your knees, keeping you suspended in air while his other arm was secured around your chest, three of his fingers shoved down your throat, which caused most of the spit spilling down your chest from having your mouth pried open by his fingers.
His cock was absolutely demolishing your ass, while one of your little vibrators was shoved up your cunt, and turned up to the highest setting.
You were crying and moaning and dripping within minutes of him having his hands on you, your head thrown back in ecstasy against his shoulder. His lips and nose were pressed into the side of your face, lips brushing against your ear as he whispered the nastiest words into it, his hot breath fanning against your face as he continued to pound into your ass.
You long stopped coherently speaking, or listening, just nodding your head to whatever words he said as pleasure overwhelmed you.
you were so close to the edge, and he knew you just needed contact in one specific area in order for you to cum.
You slobbered around his fingers as you moaned loudly, your body bouncing roughly with every thrust.
he then removed his fingers from your mouth, and instead roughly shoved you down onto your stomach, his cock still inside you as he gripped your hip with one hand, keeping your hips suspended in air, his other hand pressed down on your head, shoving your face into the mattress as he railed his hips into you impossibly harder.
“You wanna cum? yeah? that what you want? huh? you wanna cum around daddy’s cock?”
another loud moan, pornographic, music to his fucking ears.
suddenly his hand shifted down, and made contact with your clit.
The pounding, vibrations, the cut off airflow of your head being shoved into the blankets, and the way he circled his fingers against your clit just did it.
it ended you.
Jason felt your body tense up as you let out a scream, a genuine scream, like bloody fucking murder (though he knew otherwise) as you clenched around him like a vice.
He groaned, pumping into you one, two times before he buried himself as deep as he could go, and painted your hole with his thick, hot cum.
the room now was silent, minus the sounds of yours, and Jason’s ragged panting as he fell limp on top of you.
You felt him softening inside you, and you let out a low groan, which snapped him out of his little post nut haze, and he pushed himself off of you, sliding out of you, only to slide his hands to your ass and spread your cheeks wide open as he licked his lip, watching as his cum leaked from your ass.
Then you felt his tongue, and your whole body jerked as you hoarsely cried his name. “Jason!-”
“Hold on babygirl, daddy’s cleaning you up.”
and boy did he…
After a few hours, a warm shower, and some food. You laid curled up in your lovers arms, exhausted from that night's activities. It was well into the early morning now, and your eyes were beginning to droop closed.
“Sorry for being so rough babygirl… I needed it…”
“mhmm…”
“Want a hot bath when you wake up next?”
“mhmmm”
“Okay babygirl, I gotcha, get some rest now.”
Tag list:
All: @only-my-unexistent-fiances @francesfarhadi
Batfam:
Jason Todd Smut: @ilaiise
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sundew199 · 3 months ago
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The comfort of you
Tags: zoro x f!reader, fluff
Zoro loves watching you sleep, loves watching the way your guard falls easily when you’re alone with him, like the only source of comfort is his presence. He considers it an honor to know you feel safe and comfortable enough to sleep, even more so when he finds out you force yourself to stay awake around others. He smiles to himself when he traces your soft cheek with his finger, how your brows twitch at the touch, pulling a soft laugh from him.
You sleep so deeply on his chest, a trail of drool beginning at the corner of your mouth, never quite reaching his own skin. Zoro refuses to sleep when you do, his mind racing with thoughts as he looks at you. How pretty you are, how kind and accepting, how you fell for him of all people. That part is still a mystery, remembering how closed off and brash he was to you at first, honed in on his goal. But his heart kept pulling you to him, like a magnet in the vicinity of the opposite pole, stretching to connect.
Zoro often wonders of the life he can give you outside of piracy, when his life long goals have been met, when he succeeds in aiding his captain in his. Will you still want to be with him? Would you consider a slow normal life where he could teach the art of the sword to young minds? Would your love inflame or dwindle now that thrill of life on the sea was over?
He likes to think it won’t, but he’s never been sure, he can’t place all his eggs into one basket, even if he yearns to. All he wants is to grow old together, tell stories to the students that’ll learn from him or maybe even the children he’ll give you. He’d like that actually, a couple of copies of you and him, something he was once so adamantly against, but you had such an odd way of softening his hard nos.
His mind races with possibilities when he watches you sleep, the good and the bad. There are things he wants to tell you that dance in his mind but fear of jinxing it if he says it out loud. Like how he wants to seal his love for you in a ceremony, make you his wife and let the world know that the famed pirate hunter now vice captain of the straw hat pirates has a heart softened by only you. Or how he wants to end his night with you in a home over tea and sake, let you lean back into his chest and you watch the sun set over the sea and the wind rustle the cherry blossoms.
Zoro allows himself to feel when you sleep on or next to him, feel how your beating heart synchs with his and how real you are against him. His life is filled with uncertainty that is almost certain, but he never questions you or the lengths he would go to ensure you’re in his life till the end. Zoro can’t imagine you not rolling over in bed to greet him with a kiss, whether on the sunny or the home he brings you too after this adventure has closed.
Anticipation for a future with you is so sweet, so sought after by him that he has to remind himself to cherish each day, because he knows he’ll miss the lapping waves outside of his cabin on the sunny as you curl into his chest, resting up for whatever the crew gets into on the next island they’ll land at. He’ll miss the way you’ll drag him away from a party thrown by their captain for a private kiss or two, pressing you to the wall with a bottle of sake in his hand or yours, drunkenly giggling as your lips find each others. He’ll miss the way you smile at him when he joins you in Nami’s orchard, forcing you to nap under the sun with him. But he also can’t wait for the quiet slow life of just you and him and a possible family.
Watching you sleep and envisioning the future has become so dear to him, he just can’t bring himself to close his eye and join you, making up for the lack of sleep during the day. He sees everything he wants with you in the content expression on your face, tracing your features with a calloused finger and dotting your moonlit skin in feather light kisses.
“I love you.”
Is what he says into your ear as he settles in finally beside you, his body no longer able to stay awake like he wants. Carefully adjusting you so you’re heart will beat on top of his, lulling him into a dream that he can’t wait to have, knowing it’ll be filled with your bright smile and warm eyes, pulling him along to wherever the future with you holds, hoping to experience it outside of his mind one day soon.
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yanderedrabbles · 2 months ago
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Thinking about Cyberpunk Yanderes, who treat the city like a neon lit playground of vice and sin.
Cyberpunk Yanderes who peddle drugs and guns and fake ids to the hopeless and exploited. Who slip credits and biochem to the cops to turn a blind eye.
Cyberpunk Yanderes with their slum apartments and black market AI implants. Who sit on the balcony with their legs thrown over the railing when it rains, cigarette smoke curling between platinum teeth.
Cyberpunk Yanderes who've dumped bodies in meatshops and rivers all over the city. Who know how to sell hijacked hovocraft and take apart stolen supercomputers.
Cyberpunk Yanderes who never expected to fall in love. They're too busy for it. And such a sappy emotion has no place in their world.
Cyberpunk Yanderes who fall and fall hard when they meet you.
Maybe you're a new girl at the Shangri La brothels, too innocent and inexperienced to be there. Looking up at them through half lidded eyes and blushing like crazy when they lean forward and ask if you know how to fuck.
Or maybe you're the unfortunate daughter of a poor sucker who owed money to the wrong sort of people. When they come to collect, your parent is long gone and you're the only thing of value in their shitty basement condo.
Either way, you're a rarity. A precious jewel in their world of neon soaked streets and opium dens.
Cyberpunk Yanderes who let you examine each and every one of their softly glowing Radiation tattoos. Who lie with their chin on their forearms as your fingers trace across their back, shivering just a little when you touch an old scar or if your nails scrape their skin.
Cyberpunk Yanderes who paw at you like rabbid dogs when no-ones looking, tugging at your hemlines and flicking up your skirts.
Cyberpunk Yanderes who kiss your inner thighs and say you'd make the perfect little wifey, if only you'd stop resisting them.
Cyberpunk Yanderes who know exactly how filthy and corrupt this city is. Not even the rich or holy live pious lives.
What hope is there for you, innocent as you are?
Cyberpunk Yanderes who stash you away in their safe houses. Who let you see the whole city - all its wonder and beauty - as long as it's in the safety of their arms.
Cyberpunk Yanderes who drag their titanium claws down your back, mouth against your ear as they promise to keep you safe.
And on rainy nights when the neon is splashed across the slick sidewalks and their grip seems just a little too tight, you wonder if they're the thing you should be kept safe from.
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goldfades · 2 months ago
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luke hughes + the reader being injured??
i recently had a health scare so this felt fitting
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⟢ ┈ 𝐞𝐯'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 | i am so sorry, hon! i hope you're okay now, i'm sending prayers your way. i hope this fic cheers you up:(
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You’re not sure what wakes you first—the dull ache in your throat or the sound of Luke groaning from somewhere nearby. It could be both, honestly. The room feels heavy, like someone stuffed it with wet towels, and even the pale light spilling through the curtains seems sluggish, like it’s had enough of trying.
Luke is sprawled across the couch, his long legs dangling off the side in defiance of logic, his arm thrown dramatically over his face. If this were any other day, you’d roll your eyes and mutter something sharp about his flair for theatrics, but today, your voice feels stuck somewhere between a croak and a whisper. A small mercy, maybe.
Your head pounds as you sit up, the blanket slipping off your shoulders and pooling around your waist. It smells faintly of the laundry detergent Luke swears by—some over-the-top scent that promises “mountain breeze” but delivers something closer to “mint gum and pinecones.” You hate that you know that.
“Are you alive over there?” Luke’s voice cuts through the stillness, raspy and half-hearted. His face remains hidden beneath the crook of his elbow, but you can hear the faint smirk buried in his tone. Always smug, even when he’s halfway to death's door.
You clear your throat—or at least, you try. The sound that escapes makes you wince. “Define ‘alive.’”
That gets a laugh out of him, a low, gravelly thing that almost makes you forget the way your chest feels like it’s stuffed with cement. Almost.
For a moment, the two of you sit there in silence, broken only by the occasional sniffle or the soft creak of the couch as Luke shifts his weight. It’s not peaceful, exactly, but it’s something close.
And then he says it, casual and careless, like it’s not the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard. “You think this is, like, the flu? Or something worse?”
Your stomach flips—not in a swoony, butterflies way, but in the way that makes your heart pound for all the wrong reasons.
“Don’t,” you warn, sharper than you intend, your voice cracking on the word.
But Luke is already peeking out from beneath his arm, his blue eyes wide and almost childlike, like he’s just dared himself into a dangerous game.
You glare at him—or at least you try to. It’s hard to summon much menace when your nose is a clogged faucet and your head feels like it’s caught in a vice. Luke, ever the instigator, smirks like he’s won some kind of battle.
“I’m just saying,” he starts, and you can already tell this is going to be one of those things. “What if we caught some freak virus or something? Like that movie where everyone turns into zombies?”
You groan, letting your head fall back against the couch cushion. “Oh my God, Luke. It’s a cold. Maybe the flu if we’re being dramatic.”
“Speak for yourself,” he retorts, finally sitting up. His hair is a mess of dark curls, sticking out in every direction like he’s just been electrocuted, and his hoodie looks like it hasn’t seen the inside of a washing machine in weeks. “I feel like I got hit by a truck. Twice.”
“You look like it too,” you mumble, earning a scoff.
Despite the teasing, there’s a hint of truth to it. Luke looks...rough. His skin is pale except for the flush on his cheeks, and the shadows under his eyes are darker than usual. It’s unsettling, seeing someone who’s usually so full of energy—constantly moving, constantly talking—reduced to this sluggish, worn-out version of himself.
Not that you’re faring any better.
Luke notices you shivering before you do, his brows knitting together in concern. Without a word, he grabs the blanket pooled around your waist and tugs it back up to your shoulders, tucking it in with clumsy, overly large hands.
“Thanks, nurse Hughes,” you mutter, trying to ignore the way the small act of care makes your chest ache—not from sickness, but from something softer, scarier.
“Don’t mention it,” he says, leaning back against the couch, his head lolling to the side. “I’ll add it to my résumé. Right after ‘world’s best little spoon.’”
You let out a weak laugh, though it quickly turns into a cough that rattles your whole body. Luke winces, looking alarmed.
“Okay, you’re officially banned from laughing until you’re better,” he says, holding up a hand like he’s swearing an oath. “Doctor’s orders.”
“Since when are you a doctor?”
“Since right now.” He grins, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Beneath all the jokes and dramatics, there’s something fragile in his expression, something that makes you wonder if he’s more worried than he lets on.
The silence stretches again, thicker this time, as you both retreat into your own thoughts. You hate it—this heaviness, this uncertainty. And yet, there’s something oddly comforting about sharing it with Luke, about not being alone in this miserable little bubble.
Eventually, he breaks the quiet. “If this is serious—like, really serious—we should probably call someone, right? A doctor or a nurse or...I don’t know, Jack?”
You glance at him, surprised by the suggestion. Luke rarely mentions his brothers in moments like this, like he doesn’t want to bother them with his problems. It’s enough to make you sit up a little straighter, even as your body protests.
“We’ll call if it gets worse,” you say firmly, trying to inject some authority into your voice. “But for now, we’re just two idiots with bad immune systems and a bad case of cabin fever. Deal?”
“Deal,” he says, but his tone is tentative, like he’s not entirely convinced.
Still, he doesn’t argue, and for that, you’re grateful.
The hours blur together after that, punctuated by bouts of coughing, poorly muffled sneezes, and half-hearted attempts at watching a movie. Luke insists on something ridiculous—a cheesy action flick where the hero spends more time flexing than fighting—and you’re too tired to argue.
Somewhere along the way, you both fall asleep, your heads tilted towards each other, the sound of explosions and bad dialogue fading into the background.
When you wake, it’s dark outside, and Luke is still slumped against your shoulder, his breathing deep and steady. For the first time all day, the room feels light again, like maybe, just maybe, you’ll both be okay.
You let your eyes drift shut again, a small, tired smile tugging at your lips. Whatever this is—flu, cold, or just plain bad luck—you’ll face it together.
The room is quieter now, save for the occasional sniffle or cough breaking the stillness. Luke has been lying back on the couch, his legs stretched out lazily, but his restless fidgeting hasn’t gone unnoticed. His fingers drum lightly against the armrest, and every so often, his gaze flickers toward you, like he’s checking to make sure you’re still breathing.
You’re curled up in a blanket cocoon on the opposite end of the couch, trying to ignore the dull throb in your temples and the growing itch in your throat. It’s not exactly restful, but you’re too exhausted to care.
"Okay, that’s it,” Luke says suddenly, his voice rough but full of determination. He sits up straighter, the movement jolting you out of your daze.
“What now?” you ask, blinking at him through half-lidded eyes.
“You can’t just sit over there looking all pitiful,” he declares, as if he’s just made a groundbreaking discovery. “Come here.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Come where?”
“Here,” he repeats, patting the space next to him. “You’re obviously freezing, and I’m not letting you turn into a popsicle on my watch.”
“Luke, I’m fine,” you protest weakly, though the shiver that runs through you betrays the lie.
“Uh-huh. Sure you are.” He gives you a pointed look, one that says he’s not buying it for a second. “Now stop being stubborn and get over here before I drag you myself.”
You huff out a sigh, but the truth is, the idea of being warm—of being close to him—is more appealing than you’d like to admit. Slowly, you shuffle across the couch, dragging your blanket with you like a reluctant child.
“Happy now?” you mutter as you settle in beside him.
“Not yet,” he says, and before you can protest, he’s pulling you closer, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and tugging you against his chest.
“Luke,” you start, but your words trail off as his warmth seeps into you, the steady rise and fall of his chest oddly soothing.
“Shh,” he murmurs, resting his chin lightly on top of your head. “This is non-negotiable. Doctor Hughes says you need cuddles for recovery.”
“Pretty sure that’s not how medicine works,” you mumble, though you don’t pull away.
He chuckles softly, the sound rumbling through his chest. “It’s an advanced technique. You wouldn’t understand.”
Despite his playful tone, there’s an undercurrent of something more serious—something you can feel in the way his arm tightens around you, like he’s afraid you’ll slip away if he lets go. It’s in the way his fingers trace absent patterns along your shoulder, a nervous habit he probably doesn’t even realize he’s doing.
“Luke,” you say quietly, tilting your head to look up at him. His blue eyes meet yours, and for a moment, you see it—the worry he’s been trying so hard to mask with jokes and bravado.
“You’re gonna be okay,” he says softly, his voice barely above a whisper. It’s more for his benefit than yours, you think, but you nod anyway.
“We’re both gonna be okay,” you reply, letting your head rest against his chest again.
The silence that follows isn’t uncomfortable. It’s heavy with unspoken words, but it feels safe—like the two of you have built a little cocoon against the outside world, even if it’s just for tonight.
Luke shifts slightly, pulling the blanket tighter around both of you. His other hand comes up to rest on your arm, his thumb brushing gently over your skin. “If you tell anyone I’m being this nice to you, I’ll deny it.”
You laugh, the sound muffled against his hoodie. “Your secret’s safe with me.”
The weight of exhaustion finally starts to pull you under, but as you drift off, you feel Luke’s lips press a feather-light kiss to the top of your head.
“Rest,” he murmurs. “I’ve got you.”
And for the first time all day, you believe him.
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roanniom · 2 years ago
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I’m in love with everything about you. I’ve read through all of you Eddie master list twice now, and I love everything about it.
And I was wondering if you’d feel comfortable writing something about Eddie making the reader squirt for the first time? I imagine a dom/confident/not virgin Eddie being incredibly smug about it. I also imagine they’d both be surprised by it.
You Are
Eddie Munson x fem!reader
Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, fingering, squirting, dirty talk
“Baby, relax,” Eddie coos. You’re wriggling around against the bed, one of his hands spread over and applying pressure to your lower abdomen while the fingers of the other play you like a fucking fiddle. Your body can’t tell if it wants to lean into the pleasure or escape it, hence the wriggling. His fingers prod repeatedly against that spot deep inside you and you convulse, head thrown back against the pillows.
“Eddie, it’s…it’s too much.”
“I know, sweetheart. I know.” Eddie’s voice is condescending in that way that you hate to admit you love. He leans forward to plant a less than innocent kiss on the swell of your breast. It’s meant to be soothing, but the way he sucks on the plush skin makes you arch your back even deeper.
“If you actually need me to stop, you know what to say,” Eddie adds. He might love to overstimulate you and push your buttons, but there’s nothing but trust and respect beneath the teasing surface. His check in somehow turns you on further and you grip wildly at the wrist between your thighs so he won’t pull away.
“No, don’t stop,” you gasp. Eddie chuckles.
“I thought you said it’s too much.”
“It is,” you maintain, though your grip on his wrist remains a vice as you roll your hips to try and ride his fingers more.
“You’re giving me mixed signals, princess,” Eddie hums. He brings the hand from your abdomen down so he can lightly toy with your clit. You positively sob. “Are you a whore or a cry baby? Which is it?”
“Eddie!” you cry out when he adds more pressure to his circular motion. Your voice cracks on a whine.
“Oh she’s a crybaby,” Eddie says in a less than sympathetic moan.
Out of nowhere the pressure suddenly becomes too much. There’s an urgency causing all of your lower muscles to seize and you arch more fully off the bed with a cry. Unable to vocalize your panic at the way the pressure seems to build beyond the normal level of an orgasm. One of your hands grabs at your breast while the other fists in the sheets, your eyes wide and blind at the ceiling, your mouth dropped open.
“Okay. Maybe more whore–,” Eddie starts to joke at your sudden contortion, but then he’s shocked into silence by the way his thrusting fingers become deluged with liquid. The sound is obscene, as is the smirk that expands over Eddie’s face as he realizes what he’s done.
He’s made your squirt for the first time.
“Oh fucking hell yeah,” Eddie groans. He redoubled his efforts, thrusting his fingers in and out of you harder, his other hand moving rapidly over your clit. The wetness splashes him and you practically scream until finally it ends, your body dropping limp to the bed, your chest heaving with pants.
You’re pretty sure you black out for a second, because when you finally get your bearings again Eddie is leaning over you, kissing your face all over.
“My beautiful, beautiful girl,” he says quietly into your ear before kissing you soundly on the lips. You’re still pretty out of it so you blink slowly after he pulls away.
“I thought I was your crybaby whore,” you say weakly. Eddie roars with laughter, kissing the path of your fallen tears on your temple before gathering you in his arms. Despite how sticky you are, he holds you close and you have neither the energy nor the wherewithal to be bothered.
“You are, baby. You are.”
~*~
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Thanks for your kind words about my work!! I hope you enjoyed this ♥️
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joelhoney · 1 year ago
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#1 girl
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pairing: dbf joel miller x afab/sorority sister reader
kenny here... tumblr Blipped me u guys. but i loved this too much to let it waste into nothingness. so here we go again take two using an ancient blog i never even used (from 2016 mind u...) enjoy!
You're too wrapped up in sorority duties to remember somebody's supposed to pick you up and drive you home tonight. One pissed-off Joel, curious conversation, and cowboy hat later, your evening takes an unexpected turn.
warnings: no outbreak au, dbf!joel, self gratuitous age gap (21/51), shy reader w/ some bursts of confidence, blowjob (m receiving), handjob (f receiving), dirty talk, praise, degradation too..., overuse of pet names... must b all
Of all the ways you imagined spending your fifth day of spring break, the last was in your dad’s best friend’s pickup truck with lame rock playing dryly through the console radio. In fact, last is generous—the idea itself had never even been conjured in your head.
The reason why is because you and your dad’s best friend—Mr. Miller—don’t typically interact beyond the confines of dinners, mandatory laughter, and the occasional one-on-one about something like boys in college, or classes in college, or the drive to college. Nothing much had changed when you moved the brief drive away to UT Austin, and between you everything’s remained the same, even now in your senior year.
For instance, a break—summer, spring, winter—would begin with your parents picking you up and shuttling off to the house, and end with an affair of the similar sort. Quickly into your first year, though, you learned to always insist you either leave school late or leave home early for spring break to take advantage of campus parties, especially because your senior year had cemented your shiny new position as President of Alpha Phi.
Any officer position in a sorority already came with a good deal of responsibility, let alone the presidency; and in addition to having recently turned twenty-one, the role required you to exhaust every drop of social battery, every ounce of skill you had at party hosting and alcohol obtaining without the use of a flimsy fake.
The eliminated nerves of using fakes made you much less nervous during parties, which often led to you letting more loose than usual. This party you’re in was thrown by some frat on campus, but this house is your last place of four; first two pregames, then a bar, then here. At some point at the bar your sisters had surprised you with a fun gift for the night, so you’re also wearing a pink sash, onto which rhinestones spelling out #1 Girl have been glued with precision.
Already you’re dizzy, wiping clammy fingers on the stiff cotton of your tight tank top, the curve of your tits spilling over the Alpha Phi logo. It’s small on you, the hem high above your navel and higher above the loose, low hem of your denim shorts. If they fell low enough on your hips, the high arch of your pink thong would’ve shown itself—maybe it did at some point, you’re too loopy to care.
“Oh, no,” you’re saying, but you can barely hear yourself over the rap song playing and everyone singing along, “no, I hate Jäger.” You’re shaking your head at your best friend and Vice President, Lia, who raises two handfuls of the opaque liquid. She shakes her head, sets them down on the table you’re leaning against.
“Lighten up, duuude. We’re taking them to celebrate your first and last spring break as President.”
“Aw, fine,” you muse loudly, giving in. “Only this once.” Out of obligation and genuine gratitude, you allow yourself to stomach your least favorite drink—then another, and another, a bit of each shot dribbling down the column of your throat and stickily onto your chest.
Lia snaps at the red bra strap that peeks out of your tank strap, laughing. “Settle down, Prez.” A partygoer, rowdy as they come, roughly deposits a sweaty cowboy hat onto your head and you yelp in surprise, steadying it. Whoever gave this, I’m keeping it! you holler, laughing as you feed yourself a shot of something your tongue enjoys more.
Absolut crowds the inside of your mouth when you take it back, interrupted only when a hand comes to shake at your shoulder. In your rush to turn, you nearly hit them with your hat.
It’s Cole, a good friend and member of the frat whose house you’re currently getting tipsy in. His eyes are rimmed and the whole air of him smells like weed. He offers one greeting: “Yo.” His eyes slide down to your chest, where your tugged-down tank has exposed a few inches of your red bra’s lacy cups.
“Hey,” you say, the syllable sounding sticky. “Up here, you ass. Jägerbomb?” You offer a smile.
“‘M a’ight. Listen, some…” He shakes his head, like he’s trying to place what he’s here to tell you. Then he nods, having remembered—“Right. Some old guy’s out front asking for you.”
“Asking for me? Old… guy?” Your eyebrows scrunch together, mind foggy. “My dad?” Shit. You’d completely forgotten they’d be picking you up today or tomorrow. Maybe they’d been waiting for hours—it’s one-thirty, the clock on the living room mantel reads. 
“Nah, man, not your dad, this guy’s… he’s got a red pickup truck, um, he’s, like, he’s old looking.” He raises a hand above his own head. “Tall.” His voice is drawly with the weed high, but as soon as he said red pickup, you knew exactly who he was talking about. One look at your phone confirms it—five missed calls and a message, 11PM, sent by your dad: Joel’s in the area for work. He’s going out with buddies but can swing by the house to pick you up. I’m giving him your #.
“Fuck.” You blink. “Fuck! I gotta go.” 
You never usually have to pack shit to go home, considering the drive isn’t too far. Briefly you consider making a detour to collect things from your sorority house, but you decide to sacrifice the laptop and the few important chargers. So, armed with only your phone, you wrench your way out of the crowd, a few goodbyes thrown in your direction and back.
The front door is open so the partygoers spill onto the front yard, intermittent conversation littering the area. Along the pavement, frat guys’ Civics and and Priuses are parked beside an old looking red pickup truck; leaned against it is—
“Mr. Miller,” you blurt out when you’re closer to him, voice steady (your mind is just as well, shocked back to lucidity from his presence). “I’m sorry. I had no idea you’d be picking me up today—tonight—” You heave a sigh, apologetic, refusing to meet his eyes. “Sorry.”
His arms are crossed over his chest, the sleeves of his button-up rolled up to his elbows. Even from a few feet away you can make out the shape, the lines of muscle on his forearms. He looks tired, moody—more than usual—and your heart pangs with guilt at the idea that you could be the reason behind it. But despite your best—really, your best—efforts, your stomach still swoops the same way it did when you were seventeen and naive, enough to find next-door-neighbor Mr. Miller extremely handsome. Hell, extremely hot.
It didn’t make sense. You’d suspected your little crush would be that—an adolescent, childish thing, evaporating more and more into thin air with every drive made to campus. But he never stopped being handsome, never stopped his corny jokes and the pet names that got you warm every time you visited over break. You had plenty of eye candy on campus, athletes and gamers alike, and yes you’d been picky, but had managed to sleep with a select few—despite all of it, only the remnants of your fantasies of Mr. Miller satiated you when your hand creeps into the apex of your thighs late at night, lust wrangling shame into silence for a few minutes.
You blink and the train of thought is over—the real thing is here, eyebrows set low, mouth frowning.
“Kiddo,” he starts, his voice thin with exhaustion, “look, I’ve done my share of… drinkin’, and that. I get it. But you gotta…” He clicks his tongue, eyes looking your outfit up and down. “You gotta let me know, let your parents know, where you are, and if you’re okay. ‘Cause I really did not want to spend tonight drivin’ from house to bar, to bar to house, feelin’ like I was lookin’ all over Austin for you.”
“I know,” you supply quickly, nodding. Your hands, fidgety, find purchase on the fibres of the silk sash strung along your figure. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Miller. I didn’t check my phone the entire evening, and—”
“It’s okay.” He says, nonchalant, lifting himself off the side of the car to walk to the drivers’ side. Gruffly, he adds, “Car.”
You’re quick to tug the door open, settling yourself on the passenger seat and breathing nervously. Your legs are littered with body glitter, your chest with the tack of Jäger. You spot him outside, his walk slow. He’s annoyed—rightfully so—stopping just shy of the door to pinch at the bridge of his nose, his lips miming a slow exhale. When he finally wrangles himself to sit, it’s quiet for a minute, then another.
“Y’have fun?” He starts the car, thrumming it to life. You nod, then offer a verbal answer—yeah. He nods, wiping a palm over his face. “What were you up to?” 
“I, um… I organized a pregame for my sorority.” You toy with the rogue strands of denim of your shorts. “We went to a bar, after… then another… then, well.” You gulp. “Here.” The last question escapes you in a shaky, breathy squeak. “And you?”
“Hah, sure, kid. Had some contractor thing, half an hour from here. Then drinks with a coupl’a buddies from work. Could’ve been home by eleven-thirty,” he says roughly, driving through the still-vibrant streets of campus, “but it’s nearin’ two and I’m on a college campus.” The urge to apologize bubbles at your lips, high in your stomach, but you remain quiet. After a few stretches of dry silence, he asks again. “That party must’ve been real fun for you to leave your old man—and me—on radio silence, wun’nit?”
“Sure,” you manage, stammering. “We were celebrating my sorority presidency.” The dark scenery of Austin blurs past. 
“Oh, sorority presidency,” he repeats, both teasing and genuinely curious. “I did hear your dad mention you were in Alpha Phi, s’that right?” You nod. “What’s that, then? Do presidents get cowboy hats?”
Your face grows hot, hands reaching up to clutch at the rim of the hat atop your head. “No, this—somebody put it—it was a joke, Mr. Miller.” A huffy laugh escapes you. “Sorry.”
“Sweetheart,” he says, and you wrench the reminder he’s 51 he’s 51 he’s 51 through your head while he pauses, “‘m drivin’ you around Austin late at night, and I’ve known you for your whole life. How ‘bout we drop the Mr. Miller act, alright?”
“Oh. Okay,” you say. His hands grip the steering wheel firmly, and your eyes wander to his arms, to how he’s basically stuffed into the shirt he’s wearing, big and broad and bulky. His eyes remain focused ahead, so you let yourself indulge a tad bit more—lower, to the material of his jeans. It’s dark in the truck, so you can’t see much, just the flex of his thighs. “Joel.”
“Attagirl.” You chew at the inside of your cheek, already feeling arousal simmering in you, low and dirty. You’re going to soak through this godforsaken thong. “Mind if I make a pit stop?” You shake your head profusely, watch as he pulls into a gas station parking lot. “Want anythin’, girl?”
“N—” your lips form, but you scrap your original answer. “Gum, if they have it.”
“Be damned if they don’t.” He slams the door shut and you watch him enter the store, watch him through the glass panels. He’s so broad. You’d nearly completely forgotten how stupidly you liked him, and now it’s coming, throttling back full-force, especially with the thrilling aspect of it possibly coming to fruition. You are, after all, an adult. And so is he, paying for his shit with a tight-lipped expression, arms crossed again, arms big and—Jesus.
You squeeze your thighs together, willing yourself to get your shit in place when he pulls the door open again, his eyes scanning your seated figure. He tosses you the packet of gum, and you respond with a sweet thank you, Mr. M—Joel, and you fiddle with the packaging as he starts the car again, driving until scenery grows more and more familiar, closer to home.
“By the way,” he says, voice husky with the unuse of not talking for a while. “Think it’s best you spend the night at my house tonight, kid. It’s late. Later than late.” 2:44, the console digital clock reads in blinky red text. “Your parents don't want the door rattlin’ open at this hour, so I’ll let you in the guest room.”
“Oh,” you say. “Sure.”
“D’you have a change of clothes?” He asks, even if he knows you climbed into the seat with nothing but your phone and a cowboy hat. You shake your head and he tsks. “You’re barely covered, sweetheart. Best be careful walkin’ around when the night’s this chilly.”
Barely covered. You think of every possible response, but what leaves your glossed lips is the riskiest: “What do you mean, barely covered?”
You figure if he starts saying shit like what are you insinuatin’, kiddo? You better sleep at yours tonight instead, it’s an easy out—you’re turning the corner onto your street now, and your stomach is boiling with nerves, sticky and anticipatory. “I jus’ mean… it shows a lotta skin.” 
“It’s sorority merch, Joel,” you reply, half-amused and half-defensive.
“No, I”—he sighs, like he wants to backtrack what he’s just said—“I know, but… always worth somethin’ to be careful. Might catch a cold with all that leg… all that—you—showin’.” He parks in front of his house, this sizey, homey thing, and your heart flips knowing how familiar this place has been to you your entire life.
“I’m not going to wear winter gear to a spring break frat party.” You’re bolder, suddenly, but even if the statement is, your voice is level, meek, even. Joel nods, as if admitting defeat, and gets out of the car first; you follow, sneakers crunching against the asphalt as you follow him into the house.
“I hope,” he starts when you’re stationed beside him at the door, “I didn’t… offend you. I was jus’ concerned, is all.” Then he’s stoic again, slipping inside, straight to the kitchen to pour you a glass of water. He flicks a yellow light on and you squint when you get there, rubbing at your eyes to prevent them from aching.
You’re still rubbing at them when his gaze drops from your fussed-up hair and askew hat down to the shiny surface of your chest. Your goddamn top leaves him nothing to the imagination, your tits spilling out of it scandalously. The low cut even lets your bra peek through, red and bright and hey, you show up from college wearing these large university shirts and sweatpants—not this, never this. And your shorts, the way they’re really just a fucking belt, starting low on your hips and cut off high above your thighs.
Alpha Phi, the pink text on your white top reads on the left chest area. Right where your tits curve into the top, the slogan is printed: Union hand in hand. God, sororities and their fucking… quotable bullshit. And don’t get him started on the sash, this cutesy, frilly thing he wants to loop around your wrists so he can fuck you over the counter. He knows he can’t—it’s so wrong, so wrong. He’s known your dad for ages. 
But you… you're so tempting, a little minx, chirping Mr. Miller all sweet and apologetic, chest out on full display. He blinks when he hears your voice filter through the fog in his head. “—off?”
“What was that, sweetheart?” His eyes meet yours again and he feels a twinge of embarrassment at the way your bashfulness has somewhat melted to give way to the clear amusement on your face. You must’ve spotted the way he ogled you; he wasn’t exactly trying his hardest to be subtle, unfortunately. 
“D’you have something I can use to wipe myself off?” You gesture to your sticky collarbone area. “I got Jäger all over myself. Can’t handle the stuff.” You grimace at the memory, and he goes to grab a wet wipe; while waiting, you hoist yourself up onto the counter, bare legs swinging.
Joel turns to toss you the packet of wipes, but his throat dries before he can even call your name out. Your back is to him, and clearly you’re waiting for his return—you’ve busied yourself by sitting on his counter and letting the hot pink lace of your thong rise above the waistline of your shorts. Lord have mercy, he thinks to himself, adjusting his jeans as he walks back over to you.
“Wipes,” he says roughly, not anything else.
You accept the packet and smile shyly. “Can you…” you pause, the implication hovering over both of you, heavy. “Wait for me?” He nods, inviting. Warm. And he watches, inviting but not very warm anymore, the way you wipe over the expanse of your chest, over the curve of your tits, every other part of you dusted in glitter.
“So,” you say again. “Since we’re on first name basis now, Joel, I, um—I hope it’s okay to ask questions.”
“Sounds reasonable. Go for it,” he accepts. 
“When’s the last time you went to a party?” Your smile is mischievous. 
He chuckles, a huff of air. “...Long, long ago, kid. Back in my day, partyin’ meant beer, maybe a little weed… not that I'm complaining there, you understand.” He nods resolutely. “These days, a quiet home-cooked meal with just the people I really care about… is a party.”
“Wow, what an old guy answer,” you giggle. “Back in youuuur day.” Your raspy, honeyed voice wraps around the your with a teasing lilt.
“Oh, I’m old now, am I?” His stoic demeanor chips away when he laughs. “That makes you what, sweetheart? You’re barely a pup.”
At his words—at the utterance of pup—you roll your eyes and try to shift your seating so your thong doesn’t stick to your folds. “Okay, fine, next.” You’re not even wiping anymore, the material wrung into your fingers, which lay in a fist by your side. “When’s the last time you got shitfaced?”
He gives a grimace of a smile. “Aw… boy, it's been a while.” He comes closer, going from leaning on the opposite drawers to right beside you on the counter. You’re sitting and he’s leaning but still he’s taller, just a bit level. “But there was that one time back in my more adventurous days, when I was younger. A bachelor party wh… well, the details don't really bear talkin’ ‘bout in polite conversation.” He raises his eyebrows. “Why ya askin’ all this? What’s will all the last times?”
“I’m curious, is all.” You smile, leaning back; if his eyes drop just a bit, he’ll see right through your top, maybe even underneath the cup of your bra. “Okay, fine one last… last time.” You giggle, breathy. “When’s the last time you… had sex?”
The air shifts, and Joel clears his throat before chuckling. “S’none of your business, young lady. A gentleman is not raised to kiss and tell.”
“Oh, but he gets shitfaced n’ tells?” You test, pouting and leaning closer toward him so you can quiet your voice. “Come on. I won’t tell anyone I even asked.”
He sighs, contemplating. “Well… it’s been a while.” He gets his fair share of lays, when he goes out to bars with friends or the rare date, but nothing too drastic. It has been a few months. “But you didn’t hear that from me, understood? Now, let’s drop it.”
But you don’t drop it, you brat. “You’re like the born again 40-year-old virgin,” you tease smoothly.
“Try 51, honey,” he grunts out, depositing your dry wipes at the disposal across you. He turns back around, restrained. 
“And what, you don’t wanna change that?” No, he thinks—what he wants is to take you over the counter ’til you’re sobbing and sore.
“Hey now, don’t think I don’t think about it sometimes. But I jus’—I don't wanna get involved with no one, even though... Hell, if I met the right person, I might just change my mind. Ain’t that the way it goes?”
“That’s such an antiquated view of sex,” you quip boldly, pressing your arms to your sides. “What happened to just having one good fuck?”
His eyes flicker down then up. “Well, hey. Slow down with the cursin’, sweetheart. And what in the hell makes you think I don’t do that?” He crosses his arms, offering a raised eyebrow and an insufferably smug smile.
“You didn’t necessarily object when I called you a twice-over virgin.”
He chuckles. “There’s more than one way to let it all out, my girl. You don’t have to just go all in to hit the spot.” The thought of him using his own—or some girl’s, actually, hand, throat… to get off, gets you all hot. You want to be that girl. His girl.
“Like how?” You ask, tilting your head to the side.
“Old man like myself probably can’t offer tricks you’ll find… useful.” He grunts, prepares to go upstairs. He reaches over you for the packet of wipes and your proximity urges him to stop, savor the closeness before the rational part of him reminds him you’re his best mate’s daughter.
“Okay, fine,” you say sweetly, voice much quieter—reserved just for the space between you two. “One last, then.”
Mmm, he huffs affirmatively, greenlighting your request. Impatient.
“Since when did old men do that?” You ask, inquisitive, placing emphasis on his self-proclaimed old man title.
“What? Entertain l’il minxes like yourself?” He responds, intending to break your newly-built façade of smugness.
“No,” you respond coolly. “Pack nine inches.” Then you’re clambering off the counter and walking to the stairs. He inhales sharply at the sudden vulgarity of your words, watches every move, every little bounce of your pert ass under the tiny shorts, the wave of your hair, every flex of the ridden-up lace thong against your back.
You turn briefly. “Coming or what?” And then you slip upstairs.
He hears the pad of your footsteps grow quiet and shuts his eyes, letting his composure waver in your absence.
Had he known Harold’s little girl would turn out to be the world’s biggest fucking tease—Jesus Christ. “Lord,” he rasps under his breath, repeating a mantra, holding back the urge to palm himself through his jeans. “Lord, have mercy.” Then he follows you, already spotting something different—the open door at the end of the hall.
His open door. It’s the one that directly mirrors your parents’, a revelation they all had a good laugh at. Sometimes if a matter was so pressing, a well-aimed pebble to the glass window would get Joel’s attention well enough. The lights are flicked on, cool-warm, in his bedroom. You’re in his bedroom. 
Or you’re not. He walks in to find no trace of you, save for the scuffed white sneakers by the doorframe. He toes off his own boots and spots the walk-in closet light’s also been flicked on. 
“Christ, you’re quick. You’re s’posed to be in the guest room.” He gestures vaguely to the one on the left side of the hall, even if you can’t see him.
“I had to pee. And I needed something to sleep in,” you say politely from inside. He grunts softly to himself at the thought of you undressing in there, the thought of you pulling on something of his. 
“Get out of there,” he orders. “I’ll get you somethin’.” Under his breath he mutters, “S’my goddamn closet.”
You chirp okay but he adds anyway: “Hurry, out.”
So you do follow him, even follow the order to hurry, because you’re hasty in your exit, clutching the cowboy hat to your chest. “Sit.” He points to the bed, watches you set the hat next to yourself gingerly. And one last time he asks the Lord for mercy, quietly and in his head, before shutting off every other rational thought that had stopped him tonight. 
You follow suit, hat still clutched to your torso, and he slowly comes to stand just in front of you, your face level with the buckle of his leather belt. When you shift he catches sight of the side of your bra, the lace of it. Eyes cast to your bare thighs, you pipe up.
“By the way, Mr. Miller—Joel, I didn’t mean to say any of—I mean, I thought we could talk comfortably about it… that… stuff, but I took it too f—” 
“You’re damn fuckin’ right you took it too far.”
He spits it out roughly, harshly. Like he’s scolding you. A zip of shock goes through you—you hadn’t heard him swear so loud before. Maybe he is. “I give you a free ride home at half past one, give you water, give you a place to sleep for the night knowin’ damn well your momma n’ dad would both have killed ya if you stepped foot in that house wearin’ next to nothing. What do I get in return?” He looks down at you, two rough fingers jerking your chin to look up at him.
“I—” you squeak, your voice and confidence betraying you. You’ve soaked through your panties at his sudden switch in behavior. Like you’d broken a dam.
“I get a brat… whorin’ herself out to me like I’m not over twice her age.” He tuts, like he really is disappointed, and your heart almost drops. “I get all these damn questions about sex, like you think I’ll break and fuck you on my kitchen counter.” He was considering it. “All the teasin’, all the skirtin’ around in a thong and a fuckin’…” He shakes your chin. “S’there even anythin’ in that head of yours, honey?”
Your mouth’d been open. You shut it and lick over your lips. “Yeah,” you defend weakly. His hand lowers to stroke at the column of your throat, then to hook under the tight strap of your bra, peeking out under the white of your top. He sidles it back and forth.
“S’this why you asked me all those dumb questions downstairs, huh, sweetheart? ‘Cause you wanted me to pull your top open and fawn over this”—he yanks the hat away, revealing your torso underneath—“little show o’yours?” Your cleavage is sinful, downright—perfect, perky, inviting him to mouth at your tits. Your sash sits prettily above them and he can’t help but pull at it, too, jolting you toward him. 
“N—” you inhale sharply, letting him pull and push you around as he pleases. He observes the blinding glittery writing on the pink material and lets out a humorless, self-satisfied huff of laughter.
“Number… one… girl.” His rough thumb grazes over the divots of the rhinestones. “That’s jus’ about right, ain’t it?”
“Yes,” you reply, voice small. 
“I’m not sure I agree, baby girl,” he drawls. His touch is precise—he knows exactly where to go, what he’s doing—but rough, dirty, almost, and the huge size of his hands don’t help to support otherwise. He tugs down your tank top so it’s tucked underneath your bra, and you yelp, making a move to cover yourself. He laughs again—“Sure, go all shy on me like you haven’t been showin’ yourself off to me all night. Knees.”
You get off quick, so quick you’re dizzy when you steady yourself on two knees. Two lithe hands make their way to his belt but he steps backward, revels in your evident confusion, clumsiness, the flush high on your cheekbones. “Buckle down, sweetheart.”
“But—”
“No goddamn buts. Listen to me.” He ends up being the one to make work of his belt, and while he talks you have to bite your lip to keep from going slack-jawed at the sight of him. You’d been kidding about the nine inches thing, but Christ he’s huge, strained against the tight denim. He’s thick even under the layers of clothing, and all you want to do is choke on him. “You’re gonna let me use that mouth t’get off, first thing,” he grunts, like this is all some chore to him, “because I am not goin’ to put my cock in my best mate’s daughter.”
“How about,” you croak lightly, “your fingers, then?”
“Jesu—we’ll see.” He tugs his cock out then, and he’s fucking huge, he really is, his tip angry and flushed and being rubbed along your lips, sticking them up with his precum. He sighs contentedly, humming low, the vibration sent straight to your half-open mouth. You suck on the tip of him, watch a slow smile form on his face. “That sash oughta say somethin’ else.”
Your silence grants elaboration. “Number one slut, maybe.” You shift on your thighs, trying to hide how aroused you are at his mean behavior. But he can tell, he can watch the way your blinking slows, the way your eyes glazed over, glassy and teary from trying to take more of him. He doesn’t tell you to slow down, or go faster; he just watches, eyebrows knitted, focused. “Budge up.” 
A hand, big and calloused, threads through your hair and gives a tug, goading your mouth open so more of his cock slips past. Your jaw aches from the attempt alone, so you pull off before you start choking too much, tonguing at the parts of him you can’t reach—lower, until you’re laving at his balls. He grunts, pleasured, simmered down. Attagirl. Then you’re back, bobbing up and down, trying despite yourself to take all of him, until your eyes are watery and you’re spluttering, choked.
“Now this is…” He says, and it comes out in a contented little sigh, “a number one throat. Keep those pretty lips open, honey, ‘m gonna fuck them.”
You do, your achy jaw slacked as he begins bucking into your mouth, the sounds of your choking only spurring him on. He’s dominant, taking and taking, and you’re humiliated to find how wet you are, soaked through the lace of your thong and darkening the denim of your shorts.  The tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat only gets him to thrust even faster, watching tears fall from your eyes, streaky with mascara. His best friend’s daughter, taking dick like a fucking champ.
He thrusts harder, each sound emitting a nasty, incoherent noise out of you, choked little gasps that have him harder each time. Gonna fuck this throat raw, he mutters. Since that’s what you wan’ed, ain’t it? You reach up, light fingers massaging his balls, and then his hips stutter, and with barely any warning, you feel his hot seed shoot into your throat, little satisfied groans leaving the man above you.
You swallow what you can, limited by his dick still in your mouth. When he pulls out you lap at the cum left behind, circle your tongue around your lips, make a whole show of it. You speak again, your voice raspy and spent: “Please, my turn?”
He lifts you up and smirks at the way you yelp in surprise, tossing you onto the bed and pulling you back onto your knees, your back to his chest. He wrangles your shorts off, gives your ass a smack as he pulls them down, enough to expose what’s underneath. The stiff material gathers just above your bent knees, restraining you from moving much.
“D’you know what,” he says, still sounding angry—like he’s lecturing you, stern, “I could’ve been in bed, wakin’ up at six to work… instead I gotta teach this little brat a fuckin’ lesson. Your old man not teach y’enough manners?” He tugs your bra down, thumbs roughly at your pebbled nipples, wrenching a moan out of you. He’s hard again, dick poking into your ass, and fuck you want him in you.
“He didn’t,” you sniffle, pitiful. “Y’gotta teach me, Daddy.”
“Oh, she likes that, don’t she?” He grumbles, like the title is annoying, juvenile. The way his cock twitches tells you otherwise. “Shut up, baby honey. I got this.” He reaches up your thighs and the ticklish, pleasurable sensation gets you hot.
Joel, you whimper, seizing in on yourself. He grabs your other arm, pulls it back toward him so you remain open and pliant. Please, wait.
“No time for waitin’, not when you spend hours prancin’ around like a little whore, sweetheart.” Without preamble, he’s running his fingers up your thighs again, not stopping this time until his fingers are pressing into your clit, rubbing over the thin, soaked fabric of your panties. “And you’re so fucking wet for me. My number one girl, ain’t you?”
“Yea,” you babble dumbly. “Your number one girl.”
“Thaaat’s right. My girl needs her needy cunt filled up, don’t she? By Daddy’s fat fingers.” You nod along, drawn in by the vulgarity of his words, the way he spits them out. You’ve spent several nights fantasizing how his big, rough hands would feel on you—and you’ve been outproven. He’s so fast, so skilled with his fingers; they feel delicious in you. And you can’t stop thinking about all of those girls he implied he’s slept with, the way they probably got to this first. Lucky bitches.
He’s gotten you so wet the entire night, even moreso now, that your pussy is making obscene squelching noises with each pump of his fingers, these nastily loud noises that humiliate you, that turn you on even more, that make you drip all onto Joel’s linen sheets. Fuck, you whimper. He swats at your ass. No swearing, he’s saying.
“Look up for me, honey. Up at the window.” Outside, the sun’s beginning to crawl over Austin, just the faint blues and yellows of early morning. You realize you know this because his curtain’s been pulled open—by him, earlier, before any of this even started, you assume. And the only other thing you can see other than the sky and the sliver of the neighborhood is your parents’ window.
“No,” you plead, looking down. He doesn’t let you, tugs you back up to look by your hair. He knows your parents won’t be up ’til seven-thirty latest. But you don’t know that, and for now, you don’t have to.
“What then, huh, sweetheart? When they go to check on the weather n’ they see their best friend poundin’ their young daughter? What’d they think?” You jerk away, overcome with pleasure and embarrassment at the imaginary situation. You feel his fingers pump in and out of you, filling you up. They’re probably thick and hot, glistening each time they come out. You’re tightening up; you’ll cum soon, make a mess on his hand, which already drips with slick. “So you better hurry. Better make a mess on me soon.”
“I am, I’m—I’m gonna,” you moan. You’re wrapped up in the way his fingers play you just the right way. You’re so close to the surface, and you’ve been wanting this for way too long, so you nod, let yourself get carried away by his words, let yourself give in, spreading your legs as wide as they can go as he fingerfucks you, working out the tension that’s been building up for forever. 
“That’s my number one girl,” he grins into your neck, and you’re convulsing release onto his hand, wetting it even further. He wraps a hand around your waist, keeps you close to his figure, his erection at the small of your back. “That’s it, honey. Did so well for me.”
“I want it,” you say meekly. “Even if they see.”
He groans. “Sweetheart, you must think real low of me to believe I’d put my cock anywhere near Harold’s daughter’s pussy.”
You tug your panties fully down, just enough so they fall off on their own the rest of the way, and guide his slick hand behind yourself, pressing his finger first into your folds again, sensitive, and then up toward your tighter hole.
You feel his breath tighten behind you when you say: “How ‘bout there?”
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